A Whiter Jade of Pale
by SailorCopperOwl
Summary: Crisis hits the Shitennou, and Rei finds herself taking the least likely of sides. Written because PGSM needs more Rei/Jadeite.
1. Chapter 1 Dumped

"No way!"

"I insist!"

"No! You are not going to dump your waste on my doorstep! What do you think this is? This is a respectable shrine, a sacred place, people come here to pray, not to stumble upon this bleeding mess!"

"One more reason you should bring him to some place that provides suitable shelter", sneered Kunzite. "You will provide him with rest, food and water, which is all he will need, and guard his safety. I will make you responsible for anything that is going to happen to him while he is in your care."

He turned, obviously intending to leave her like this. While Rei had enjoyed the flicker in his eyes at the word "waste", she wondered for a moment if pushing Kunzite too far was such a good move. She hadn't seen him in such a mood ever since she the times they had been enemies, her Senshi instincts had long kicked in and warned her.

Oh, what the hell, she thought. I am not going to be treated like this, and especially not by him. He can sulk all he wants.

"Hey, wait!" she called, grabbing his arm so he wouldn't just teleport out of the shrine's yard. He flinched at the touch, maybe some of the blood that soaked his uniform was his own. Good, thought Rei.

"Could you stop being an idiot for just one minute?" she demanded.

Kunzites lips curled.

"Nani?" he hissed.

"I can not take him into my care. I know nothing about this stuff. He looks like he is going to die any minute, how dare you make me responsible? I am very sorry for the poor boy, but I can not help him! If you really want help, get Ami."

"No." Kunzite refused flatly.

A small, gurgling noise came from the floor where shreds of torn black fabric covered what had been a golden haired warrior and was now what Rei had correctly referred to as a bleeding mess, one that had dropped to the ground in the yard of her shrine once Kunzite had released his grip on him.

"Kunzite!" moaned Jadeite, barely audible. "Not... one of... them..."

"You keep quiet and be grateful I found the one safe place there is for you", snapped Kunzite. "You will stay here, show your best behaviour and do as she tells you. I will not pick you up unless I can see serious improvement. Use the time to learn a thing or two."

He spun round to Rei. "And you, Mars, listen..."

"No, Kunzite!" Rei interrrupted him. "You will listen to me! You come here, invade my home, in the open where we can be seen any minute, load a responsibility on me which is yours, and only yours, and don't even have the manners to ask me decently for help? Don't order me around like I was your servant! I may not be able to transform any more, but you will pay me respect or you are both out of here!"

Kunzite stared at her, and even an angry Rei felt uneasy by this, but she wouldn't give in. Finally, Kunzite let a smirk crawl over his face.

"Very well", he said with an oily, false friendlyness, and bowed with one hand to his chest, the ironic grin never leaving his face. "I am sorry for the intrusion. I have no other choice but to place this young man in your custody and care. I humbly and with all due respect ask for your _mercy_."

Rei felt the urge to yell at him again, but held it back. This was exceptionally weird of Kunzite.

"You ask a lot", she said, voice calm, but her eyes still sparkling with silent warnings.

The injured Shitennou on the floor grimaced and let out a moan of pain. Kunzites gaze softened.

"Mars, please."

Wow. That was quite disarming.

Rei frowned and pointed to a window in a further away building.

"Teleport him in there. I will not be responsible if he dies. And Kunzite, you owe me for this one. You really owe me."

Kunzite bowed again, and with a swish of his cape, the two Shitennou faded away.

"I don't believe this!" grumbled Rei and went over to the store room she had chosen for Jadeite.

Jadeite! From all Shitennou, he annoyed her the most. That was, given Kunzite as a competition, quite an achievement. But Kunzite, that bastard, seemingly knew her quite well, she couldn't just let the boy die without help. She could only hope there was anything she could do for him at all.

***

She entered the store room, carefully locking the door behind her.

Of course, Kunzite hadn't deemed it necessary to wait for her arrival.

Men! thought Rei. Drop their responsibility on the next avaiable woman and then be gone. He didn't even bother to thank me.

At least, he had had the decency to place his comrade on a stack of soft sacks, which Jadeite already started to bleed through and through. His gaze followed her as she came nearer, pain in his eyes, but also anger. Unconsciousness wasn't far away, judging from the fainting intensity in his aura, but he hadn't given in yet.

Rei's heart sank as she let her eyes wander over him. He looked horrible. Deep cuts everywhere, bruises swelling, blood all over him, his aura unsteady. What the hell had he been into? What was she supposed to do about him? She reached out and tried to pull some of the black fabric away from a long cut.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Just a whisper.

Rei sighed.

"Jadeite, don't waste your breath refusing my help. You heard Kunzite. You are to stay here and do as I tell you."

"No. Leave me alone", whispered Jadeite, his aura flickering. He winced as a jolt of pain ran through his body.

Rei sighed even deeper than before. Shitennou, always making things as complicated and unpleasant as possible. How could she get through to him?

"Jadeite", she said, her voice taking on the warm tone that she usually reserved for the temple children. "Calm down. I just want to help you. Relax, and heal..."

Whether he accepted the situation, or just couldn't keep up the resistance any longer, his eyelids flickered and suddenly his gaze was empty.

Rei was about to panic, but reminded herself that his aura was still there, and he was just unconscious. She had no idea what to do about him, but looking down on him, a boy always too deep in trouble, helpless, cut and bruised, life running out of him with every heartbeat, she would do whatever it took to keep him alive.

***


	2. Chapter 2 Passed Out

She couldn't do this on her own. She needed Ami, with her solid knowledge of first aid.

"Oh Rei-chan, how terrible. I will come over."

"No!" yelled Rei, almost panicking. "I mean, yes, I need you, but please, don't hang up, whatever happens! You need to give me directions, right now! He is loosing so much blood!"

"Shitennou aren't entirely human, what I know about humans, might not be enough for him..." hesitated Ami.

"Whatever!" snapped Rei in despair. "He will have to take the kind of help he can get. We don't have much of a choice here. Just tell me what to do!"

"Ok, Rei, I will direct you. Listen!"

"Thank you, Ami, please hurry, and please stay on the phone."

Ami's voice was the only thing that kept her going when she tore the sleeves off her shirt and wrapped them like Ami told her. Ami had advised her not to remove any clothing yet, just to bind off his limbs above his wounds, but his uniform was so torn she touched bare skin at most places, and his skin was so damp and cold that she got scared. It had all been well before she had to touch him.

Rei tried to move Jadeite and froze when some shreds of his uniform fell off.

"Ami... I don't think he is wearing underwear..."

Ami needed a second to get over this. Rei was glad they weren't face to face yet.

"Rei, that's okay. That is not important now. His life is what's important now. Don't care about it. We'll deal with it later. Do you have the sleeve ready?"

Rei didn't answer.

"Rei, come on, surely you have seen a naked man before. If you have seen one, you have seen them all."

"I... I haven't" stuttered Rei, ashamed.

"Keep your nerves, Rei-chan. Remember the time when Kunzite dressed up Usagi-chan in that white ball gown? How do you think he did that? Just think of now as a payback for the Shitennou! Now do it, don't waste anymore time. Wrap the sleeve around his thigh and knot it really really tight. Move, Mars Reiko-chan!"

***

"That was mean", mumbled Rei when Ami had finally arrived.

She was shaking, Shitennou blood all over her, and the only thing that kept her from panicking was that the boy was at least not dead yet.

"But it worked", said Ami with an encouraging smile. She ran her gaze over the unconscious patient. "You probably saved his life. Well done. Now I need your help while I have a closer look..."

Rei just followed any command that Ami gave her, glad that she seemed to know what to do. She was immensely relieved to see the bag that Ami had brought.

"You have a doctor's equipment?"

"My mum's. She always keeps one ready for emergencies although she has never needed it as long as I can think. I will be able to refill it before she notices I had it. We will certainly need to so something about his wounds, and there are cuts that have severed muscles, and sinews, probably broken bones... I have no idea what to do about these..."

"Kunzite said he just needs rest."

Ami's lips tightened at the mention of Kunzite. Rei suddenly thought that Kunzite had actually been wise not to ask her directly for help.

"What does _he_ know about that?" grumbled Ami. "_He_ heals so fast that it's almost impossible to kill him anyway. _He_ probably thinks everyone else could do it as well if they only tried hard enough. I won't take a risk just at his word."

"He looked pretty beaten up himself", said Rei, hoping this would cheer Ami up. "Any idea what the heck they are doing?"

At the same moment she wanted to bite her tongue. If the Shitennuo were into something dangerous, that guy that Ami called her boyfriend would be in there as well.

"Sorry, Ami. I forgot about Nephrite for a moment."

Ami wasn't offended. She was used to Rei being in denial about the Nephrite situation.

"He's not home yet. Yesterday evening, he just teleported into the bathroom, took a long hot shower, rematerialized his uniform, collapsed and slept the whole night sitting upright on the bathroom floor, in Shitennou form, his sword in his hand. He was gone very early today without telling me what's going on. I wouldn't want to know anyway, I would have worried all day. I just kept telling myself that he is so tough, he can take almost every blow and still fight back."

But so is Jadeite, thought Rei. Rather short, rather thin, but mean and fast and tough in battle. Two Senshi hadn't been able to bring him down, at those times when they had fought.

"Ami, I'm so sorry I called you here. You should be at home and wait for him, maybe he'll need your help."

Ami shook her head, while her hands and eyes stayed fixed on the task of stitching up one of the cuts in Jadeite's arms.

"This is an emergency, I had to come. Now the thigh. Good job. Come, let's get through some anatomy lesson while we have the chance."

"I really don't need to know", mumbled Rei and blushed.

"Yes, you do. He is your patient, I will not always be around. If he stays unconscious, you will have to take care of everything. It's okay for a nurse or a doctor. It's just another body part."

She pointed out every aspect of said body part and named the correct anatomical term.

"See, that was all. Nothing special. I know you won't ever feel attracted to Jadeite. I think that's why Kunzite brought him to you. He's so unreasonable. He must think I would seduce any Shitennou I get my hands on. So silly really."

Silly, yes, the first word that comes to mind if I think of Kunzite, thought Rei sarcastically while she tried to get over the way Ami could name boy parts with no more than just a slight blushing. It was as brave as if she had transformed. Maybe being a doctor _was_ her new transformation.

"I rather think Kunzite knew I would be pissed off the most of us all, so he took his chance to get on my nerves", she said to keep her mind off Jadeite.

"You are probably right", said Ami. Thoughtful, she examined the cuts in the uniform. "I think we need to mend these as well... sew him in...", she said.

"What, you don't want to get these dirty rags off him? Isn't that unhygienic?"

Ami shook her head.

"Maybe it is, but the clothing is a part of the powers of a Shitennou. Just like it had been with us as Senshi. If we take it away from him, it could weaken him. No, we'll leave it on, we'll just wash off the blood as good as we can, use disinfectants, and sew the cuts of the clothing while he still wears it."

"That'll take forever," said Rei with a shudder.

"I'll help you as much as I can. Makoto is good at sewing too. And Usagi can ask Mamoru what this is all about."

They both sighed.

"What do you think about his chances?" asked Rei.

"They're good."

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. He hasn't fallen back into stone form, which would be for deep regeneration. He should be doing well. Just give him time."

***

Ami had promised to stay. She insisted Rei had a shower, change of clothes, dinner, and let people at the shrine know she'd be with a sick friend for some days.

At first, Rei was glad to have Ami around, even if they just sat together in silence, inch for inch washing the blood from the young Shitennou who did absolutely nothing but breathe. Ami would know what to do if the boy got worse, right?

From time to time, Ami insisted to shift his position, for a medical reason Rei couldn't entirely follow. Rei was still creeped out when she touched his skin that just didn't feel right, and she was worried they'd give him too much pain when they moved him.

"He'll be worse if we don't," was Amis answer. "Now give me another bandage, please."

The relief of having Ami around got damped soon by the arrival of what recently came with Ami: Nephrite. Tall, tense, exhausted, confused, disapproving, bringing anger and the smell of more blood. The maximum occupancy of the store room was instantly exceeded for Rei.

Without a word, he turned and flung his arms around Ami, burying her in his embrace.

Rei didn't get it. The most gentle and delicate of the Senshi, with the biggest and roughest of the Shitennou. Now they even kissed. This did nothing to improve Rei's judgement. Seriously, there were remainders of today's enemies on Nephrite, that Ami seemingly didn't mind to get all over herself. Looked like she was used to it. Romantic.

As suddenly as he had grabbed Ami, he let her go, shot Rei an annoyed glance and with one swift movement, he was by Jadeite.

Nephrite loomed over Jadeite with a frown, then over Ami and Rei.

He struggled for words while he was eyeing them accusingly.

"What is this?" he finally demanded.

Rei lept to her feet.

"Ha, like we knew! Kunzite dumped him here, not telling us anything! Maybe you would be so friendly to explain what the hell is going on with you Shitennou!"

"Kunzite brought him _here_?"

"I couldn't believe it either. Now, Nephrite, this is a sick room, and we don't want to point this out to the whole world, so please keep your voice down. Be good and don't disturb Jadeite. He needs to rest."

"Here."

"Yes."

"This room is filthy."

"I's not! It's just dusty! He has clean sheets! This room is all I have at the moment. I can give him a guest room once he stops oozing. If you have any better idea, I will be happy to hear it!"

Nephrite glared at her once more, but then he turned back to Jadeite.

"He doesn't like that", he said. With some routined grips, he lifted Jadeite into a more comfortable position, and finally collapsed into a sitting position on the floor, next to Jadeite's head, watching his fellow Shitennou.

He refused to answer questions, he refused to let Ami have a look at his wounds, he refused to lay down and have some sleep.

He ended up sleeping upright, Ami in his arm, sword in his hand.

It bothered Rei to see Nephrite with Ami cuddling by his side.

It bothered her even more when, after some mere hours, he woke up with a startle and teleported out of the room. She suddenly felt alone. She usually never did.

This stupid situation must drive her crazy already.

The night was long, dark, and quiet, and Rei didn't have to worry she'd sleep in. She was just so upset and worried. What had happened to almost kill Jadeite, drive Kunzite insane and wear out a guy as strong as Nephrite?

She couldn't take her eyes off Jadeite.

Did the boy live? Did he get better?

He breathed, although not much. He bled, although not as bad as before. That didn't necessarily have to be a good sign. Maybe he just didn't have much blood any more that he could spill.

He was so pale and still. A stranger, not from this world, and so unlike his usual self. Even if she had met him peacefully a few times in this new life of theirs, she would never be able to imagine him without a crystal dagger in his hand, challenging her, and his eyes measuring her coldly. She had never liked him, the deceit of his innocent face masking so much malice, and his reckless use of youmas against humans, but seeing him like this was just so wrong.

She knew what the slashes on his arms meant, he had been going down with his arms held up to shield him where his magic couldn't, and the other injuries told her that the fight hadn't been over once he was down. So a Shitennou lost a fight every now and then... but it made her so mad that someone had still hit him when he hadn't been able to defend himself any more.

And she just couldn't get rid of the memory of Kunzite dropping him from his tight embrace, just dropping him to the floor and not even looking at him, and Jadeite just hitting the floor real hard with a cry of pain, and with a crunching noise made Rei's blood freeze.

Fought down, beaten up, and tossed in her yard like a bag of garbage. She was not going to let anyone responsible for any of this get away with it. The boy would live, he just had to. And Kunzite was going to pay for this.

***


	3. Chapter 3 Sold

Rei awoke from muffled excited voices. For a moment, she was entirely confused.

Where was she? Who was that stranger with his nonhuman aura? Who were all these people in the room?

Then she recognized Usagis voice, and in an instant, memory kicked in.

It turned out Ami had been busy on her phone. They all had come. Even Minako had left a message in her voice box ("Throw him out! He's not worth the trouble this is going to be!").

Makoto had brought breakfast for all, and a big picnic blanket so they could sit on the floor of the store room and make sense of the situation.

"So, what are these guys up to and why did it go so wrong?" asked Makoto.

"Don't ask me, Kunzite gave me zero information", said Rei.

"I don't know what is going on out there either", said Ami. "Nephrite won't tell me."

"They had a battle against these bladed monsters, and they almost lost Jadeite and Zoisite," said Usagi. Everyone looked at her in shock and surprise. "Kunzite and Nephrite are injured as well. Mamoru is devastated."

"They must really be in a tight corner. It's very unusual that the Shitennou should ask us for help", said Makoto.

"Well, they sometimes ask me, but I think it's only because they want to be polite, so I don't feel all left out when they have a mission with Mamoru", said Usagi.

"What kind of help?" asked Rei suspicious.

"Well... uhhh..." Usagi stuttered.

"I hope they don't just order you around, like 'Could you mend my socks please'."

"Like I would know how to do that", said Usagi reproachful, and some muffled laughter filled the room. "No, it's more about things they are embarassed about. I mean, I shouldn't even mention it. They are just a bit lost sometimes. Like, when they need to operate machines without yelling at them. Or spend money. Or talk to people."

"Or breathe?" suggested Rei.

"Oh come on, Rei, you know I like to help. It's not good for them if they always just do things the Shitennou way. They need to be able to live in our world, too."

"That's true", said Ami. "Nephrite likes being Shitennou more than being human, but he doesn't like to be Shitennou all the time."

"See?" beamed Usagi. "So it is a good thing the Shitennou let us help."

"But still... Kunzite didn't ask for help", said Rei. "He asked for mercy."

"Mercy?" they all repeated surprised.

"Yes. Mercy. And he really looked so 'old-school Kunzite', I thought he would let the boy die on my doorstep."

"That bastard!" said Makoto. "To use you like that!"

"He really didn't leave you any choice", said Ami.

"Yeah... but why you?" wondered Usagi. "He knows Jadeite is my favourite Shitennou, I wouldn't have hesitated to help him no matter how cranky Kunzite was. But everyone knows you don't like Jadeite. He couldn't be certain you would agree, so why risk the life of one of his men? It doesn't make sense."

"No, it doesn't", said Rei. "The whole situation feels false. I don't really mind helping the Shitennou out, because after all, that is pretty much everything we can do for our mission to protect the Princess. And I am okay with having Kunzite be indebted to me, and I guess it can't be wrong to save the boy's life. But not like this. I am just being used, Makoto is right. And I do not know what for.

Usagi, please tell Mamoru that I want to talk to him about this. He is after all the one who is responsible for Jadeite, not Kunzite. He needs to agree."

"He will. We've been talking about it this morning. He sounded like he was relieved."

"Has everyone gone nuts?" murmured Rei.

And she thought: Relieved of what?

"OK, we need to think of a plan", said Makoto who loved to organize. "Who can come at which times, to get Rei some free time, who can bring supplies, who can do nights?"

It was a rhethorical question, as Makoto had no doubt already made a plan in her mind. It turned out, she had several. Including Plan B, C and D for each one.

"Really," said Rei. "I don't need one of you here all the time. The place will be crowded, and we will just draw attention. I just need a little help from time to time."

She saw Ami exchange glances with Makoto, and knew she didn't have a chance.

What had they plotted upon while she had been sleeping?

"If he doesn't wake up soon, this will be such a tremendous amount of work", said Ami firmly.

"And we can't have Kunzite exploit you like this", added Makoto, even more firmly.

"And we are friends and need to help each other", chimed Usagi in.

Rei groaned. As relieved as she was that she would have help avaiable, having other people take over her life had not been part of the plan.

This was going to be more stressful than she had anticipated.

_Kunzite is going to get his butt kicked for this alone..._

"Will he survive? We are just amateurs. You two got him through the night, which was a great job, but what are we going to do if there will be complications?" Makoto was unstoppable. She had obviously given this problem a lot of thought already, while Rei had just been reacting.

"I guess bringing him to a doctor or a hospital wouldn't work."

Ami shook her head. "He isn't human, it's so obvious, any doctor would notice."

"Don't get this the wrong way, Ami, but what about your mum? Could she help? Does she know anything about Nephrite's nonhuman side?"

Ami looked horrified. "I really have no idea how to tell her that. She... she once saw a picture I had taken from him in his Shitennou form, a really nice one, but it disturbed her deeply. She even started asking me if he takes drugs, or had ever tried to hurt me."

"Wouldn't really help to introduce her to the subject by showing her Jadeite in his current state", said Makoto sympathetically.

"But if it was saving his life?" asked Usagi. "We wouldn't even have to tell her there is a connection between Jadeite and Nephrite."

"Excuse me?" said Rei. "How could anyone not see that connection? Blue eyes, bad hair, _slightly _overdoing it on the side of studs, glitter, snake skin print, and pleats?"

"Nephrite doesn't have bad hair", said Ami somewhat offended. "I think his hair is pretty cool, and he has the best uniform of them all."

Rei just rolled her eyes. "His hair is bicolored."

"I like that!"

"Hey, you two, could we please stay on topic?" reminded Makoto them.

"Yes," said Usagi. "What if we ask Jadeite to go human? He could see a doctor then."

"Does he have a human form?" asked Makoto.

"They all have, right?"

Ami shook her head again.

"If he has one, it would be a very bad idea to assume it. They are so much stronger in the Shitennou form. And he always keeps it, it must be the most natural form for him. His chances are the best as he is now."

"And we wouldn't know what to tell the doctor anyway. 'Sorry but my little cousin has fallen into lots of sharp swords?'"

"So... what can we do?"

"Nephrite and Kunzite both said he'll heal on his own. It sounded like they have seen him like this before."

Usagis eyes almost filled with tears. "How terrible!"

"Yes", said Rei. "And how stupid. If we hadn't been stopping the bleeding and working on his wounds all night, he'd be twice as bad as he is now, or even dead. And even if he'd heal very slowly over the course of months if we do nothing, I don't like it. I want him on his feet and out of here as soon as possible, so we will do anything to speed it up."

"_No._"

"Oh," said Rei, without turning around. "Awake."

The other Senshi rushed over to Jadeite. Ami knelt beside him and stretched out a hand to touch his forehead, but Jadeite just shot her a dirty look.

"Don't touch me!"

At least his voice had gotten some strength back.

And when Usagi offered him a glass of water, he managed to jerk up one arm and knock it out of her hands, even if it was with a yell of pain.

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

It was only then he realized the bandages shining through the torn sleeves of his arm.

"What is that? You sluts, I said don't touch me!" He tried to rip them off with his teeth.

Rei had enough. She stood up, walked over to Jadeite, grabbed his wrist and gave him a grim look.

"Jadeite, stop it! I don't like this any more than you, but you are at my house, in my care, and I have promised I will look after you! So stop this and let us help you!"

"Over my dead body!" hissed Jadeite through clenched teeth. "Fuck you!"

"Well, I can see this is going to be an interesting time for both of us,", said Rei, letting go of his hand.

"Okay, Jadeite, listen. We are not going to force anything into you, or onto you. Eat or eat not, drink or drink not, cooperate or cooperate not, it is up to you. But we need to get you out of this inconvenient storeroom, into a very nice guestroom we have here, and I can't do that if everything on you is soaked in blood. So there will be removal of blood, and change of bandages, and above all there will be one thing: respect for the shrine. You will not disturb this place, so keep your voice down, and stop swearing. Kunzite has dumped you here, I have agreed on it, and Mamoru has approved of it. You're sold, boy. Accept it."

Jadeite didn't answer, but he shot her an angry look, his eyes burning in his bruised and swollen face.

Usagi flashed him a big smile.

"Don't worry, Jadeite, everything is going to be alright. We'll protect you. We'll be there for you. You'll be fine in no time. Just let us help you."

Jadeite made an effort to push himself up.

"Princess... don't..."

Usagi gently pressed him back on his sheets again.

"Shh, Jadeite, calm down. Don't push yourself, you're not well. Rest a bit. We will take care of everything."

Exhausted and panting, Jadeite stayed down, turning his head away from them, his body twitching with pain.

"I have never seen him so upset", sighed Usagi.

"Or refusing orders", said Ami.

"Did he just call his Princess a slut in front of her Guardians?" wondered Makoto, glaring at the Shitennou. "Does he have a death wish or what?"

Rei sighed deeply.

"I should have been more suspicious about why the Shitennou wanted to get rid of him. But Kunzite is in an even worse mood than he is, there is no way we can give the boy back to him right now. We have to deal with it. Oh man, if this is over, I am going to kill Kunzite!"

Jadeite turned his head back to her just enough to shoot her a look of contempt out of the corner of his eyes.

"Like that's going to impress him!" he sneered.

"Well, it'll make _me_ feel better at least."

***


	4. Chapter 4 Doomed

Jadeite's condition didn't get much better during the next days. In fact, he got worse.

Rei had arranged a guest room next to her quarters for "a friend who needs to recover from surgery", so they could look after him in the open.

The Shitennou slept most of the time, trickling small amounts of blood from the wounds that wouldn't heal but look worse every day, and his attitude didn't improve either.

He kept staring hatefully at Rei and Usagi whenever he was awake, resisting and protesting againd everything they did. He behaved even worse with the other Senshi, spitting and trying to hit them. And he just stared at Mamoru who came over every day to look after his progress, refusing to talk, refusing help, even deliberately dropping things out of his hand that Mamoru put there.

"I have no idea how you deal with this", Mamoru told Rei, sad and frustrated. "I could just order him to do what we tell him."

"No. Kunzite has already tried that. And, Mamoru, if you order him to comply, he'd maybe have to obey against his will, what different would that be from forcing his mouth open to drink? I won't have it like this. I can live with being used to help him, but I won't be used to break his will. If that is what Kunzite wants, he will have to do it himself."

"Kunzite is not like that. Look, Rei, I can see how all this is wearing you out. If I can help you by soothing Jadeite a bit, let me know."

"He can have all the attitude that he wants, I would be the same if I was in his place. Don't worry about me, Mamoru, I am not made from sugar cotton, you know."

Usagi backed her up on this. She instisted to Mamoru that if the Senshi had to take care of Jadeite, they would respect his will, no matter how inconvenient it would be. She was deeply worried about Jadeite, but she put all her faith in the strength of the Shitennou and tried to pour her optimism unto him until Rei had to gently put a stop to it, seeing how much it upset the boy.

What was going to become the biggest problem soon was that he wouldn't eat or drink.

The only person that could get anything into him was Nephrite who turned up at unpredictable times to wake Jadeite up and make him swallow . He spoke quite strict with him, and his face stayed earnest, but he handled him carefully, and didn't stop coming by, no matter in what state he was himself, so Rei couldn't help admiring his loyalty to Jadeite. If Ami absolutely had to have a Shitennou, she maybe had gotten the best out of the lot.

But Nephrite didn't come often enough, and Rei knew from Ami that she didn't see much more of him either. Obviously, Mamoru and the Shitennou were pretty busy. What a coincidence, thought Rei, suspicious.

xxxxx

"Nephrite, what's that?" asked she one evening and pointed to his side where his uniform, and the skin underneath, looked like he had been pulled over a very big grater. "That must hurt. You don't have to put Jadeite before your own good."

"I'm still standing", replied Nephrite stubbornly. "As long as I am still standing, I will see to the others. I've always looked after Jadeite when he was injured. Noone is going to keep me from that."

Now what is that about? thought Rei. A bit too touchy, even for Nephrite.

"I wouldn't want to keep you from caring for Jadeite. I am so glad you do this. I don't know what I'd do without your help. But let me have a look at this if you are done with him."

To her surprise, he agreed. She soon saw why.

"My goodness, Nephrite, is that gravel?" she asked unbelieving when she had a closer look at the wounds.

"If I am lucky", he said between clenched teeth. "Could be a bullet in between."

"I need to get these out before you start your super speed healing, or you will have those things in you forever."

She boiled one of the little tongs and scalpel Ami had let her have for pulling out Jadeite's stitches, and did her best to remove every little black speck she could detect with her flashlight. He had been right, one of them was a bullet, half buried in one of his ribs (What the hell are these Shitennou made of that they're bulletproof? thought Rei) and it took forever to get it out with Nephrite healing faster than Rei could cut. She cursed herself for being so inexperienced and clumsy, which must unnecessarily hurt Nephrite. Not that he complained, he just flinched, but it bothered her.

She was embarassed that he thanked her afterwards.

"You should have let Ami do something about it before coming here. She is much better at this kind of thing", she said when she was finished.

He looked away. "I don't want her to see these things", he said.

"But she will be a doctor, she can deal with it."

"When she is looking at me, she shouldn't have to close her heart."

Rei understood what he meant. It was the lack of any personal touch that made taking care of Jadeite bearable for her, the distanced attitude that she had learned to use on him. Just another body part. Just another case. Just another chore.

But Ami and Nephrite were lovers.

"I think you are right about that. Come to me if you have something you trust me not to make worse."

Nephrite smiled, a rare sight, and thanked her again, and Rei took her chance to ask what had been on her mind all the time.

"Nephrite... Kunzite said he brought Jadeite here because he needs him to be safe, but from what? What do we have to look out for? Who are you fighting?"

Nephrite looked puzzled, no, haunted, but he answered.

"Blade monsters. They're nasty, but they can't track him here, I hardly could track him here myself, you really have some strong spells on the place. Just keep him away from Kunzite, that's the safest he can be right now."

"Why? What's the matter with Kunzite now?"

"Nothing. Just a battle gone wrong. Kunzite doesn't like that. He'll get over it. Don't worry about it."

He got up in his usual, abrupt manner, brushed over his uniform with one hand to rematerialize it in perfect condition, and was gone in a bright red shimmer of energy.

xxxxx

One evening, Zoisite materialized in Rei's meditation room. He obviously was a better healer than Jadeite, there was no trace of any injuries on him, his unreal beauty restored as if it had been untouched, but he looked tired.

"I have some things that Jadeite might want", he said, and handed Rei a bag. "And has anyone told you he doesn't like to sleep on his back?"

"Yes. Don't you want to give that to him yourself?" asked Rei.

"No. I don't want to see him like this. It's not the time to interfer now."

"Okay, I will give it to him, but can I ask you a question?" She knew she had to hurry, his hand had already gripped his cloak to start the teleport move.

Zoisite's hand stopped.

"Yes?"

"Zoisite, what is it between Kunzite and Jadeite? Why do I have to keep Jadeite away from Kunzite?"

Zoisite's face didn't give anything away, but his voice was alarmed. "You what?"

"You heard me. Kunzite is the only one who hasn't been here to tell me I do a crappy job with one of his men, and that means he is either still mad beyond reason, or Mamoru has ordered him to stay away from Jadeite."

"These aren't things to gossip about. The Master and Kunzite will know what they are doing."

"You know, I doubt that."

xxxxx

The next time Mamoru came by to visit Jadeite, Rei took him away for a talk, and asked him the same questions.

"What happened? And what is wrong with the two of them?"

Mamoru hesitated. "It's difficult. All Shitennou are of equal rank, but Kunzite is the oldest and most experienced of us, and when I give him the command over a mission, he can be quite hard on Jadeite, it's not the first time that Jadeite doesn't accept that."

"So this is punishment?" asked Rei unbelieving. "I have to babysit the boy because Kunzite doesn't get a grip on disciplinary matters?"

Mamoru chuckled. "Better never let him hear that. It's a bit more complicated than that.

Ever since Jadeite has become a Shitennou, he has craved to get Kunzite's respect. And he is clever enought to know that he will never get it if he doesn't outright demand it. But he is not always clever enough to choose the right timing for that."

Rei thought about this. So Kunzite had had the command of a mission, with a rebellious Jadeite, and it ended in him being so mad that he had tossed Jadeite at her feet like garbage... her eyes widened when she thought that thought through to the very end.

"Did Kunzite do that to him?" Rei asked. "Did he lose his temper and beat Jadeite almost to death?"

"No!" said Mamoru. "It was in battle! They were outnumbered!"

"You've been there?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"Kunzite wouldn't do that."

Rei didn't push the matter further. But... Kunzite, a death machine in battle mode, surrounded by enemies - Jadeite, a stupid boy who chose the wrong time to make him very very angry...

She frowned and tried to get that picture out of her head.

She returned her attention back to Mamoru.

"Why me? I understand that anyone who is around Jadeite for a while will have to urge to make him suffer, but why do I have to suffer as well? What do I get punished for? Kunzite has no right to interfer with my life like this!"

"I am very sorry for the inconvenience. We do appreciate your help."

"Sure. Why don't you take Jadeite yourself? He is your guardian, after all, your responsibility! And Usagi could take care of him much better than I do."

"No. With me, he would still be involved in Shitennou business. For now, he is out, he is on sick leave, he needs to keep out of anything Shitennou until he is fully healed."

"You just don't want to take a stand against Kunzite, am I right?"

"Rei, I won't take this kind of talk from you. I back up Kunzite because he is right about this. We have absolutely no time for Jadeite right now, and no use for him either. He will have to wait."

"Well, if you think you are so busy, fine. But don't count on me to play along forever.

This shrine is my home, Mamoru. You don't want him to mess up your Shitennou, or your home? You think he can mess up my home instead? Like I had any other place to go instead?"

To her embarassment, Rei felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't know what you're thinking, Mamoru. But none of you will take the shrine away from me. If this is not working, I will be on your doorstep with the boy and ask Usagi to come and take care of him. You know she will want to help him, and to help you with your continuous Shitennou problems."

"You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't hesistate one second. Don't push me too far."

Mamoru was silent for a moment.

"And I don't have continuous Shitennou problems", he grumbled.

"Yeah, so I noticed."

xxxxx

"Can't you talk some sense into him?" asked Rei Nephrite one day that had been so hot that Jadeite had fainted from thirst and she had stepped over her resolution not to force anything into the boy and got Ami to lay him an infusion. When he had recovered enough to regain consciousness, he had angrily torn the needle out of his arm and refused to let them stop the bleeding.

Nephrite shook his head. "I know how it is to be powerless and lonely. Why should I pretend he ought to like it?"

"He is not supposed to like it. It would be enough if he stopped being in denial about his situation. He needs help."

"He has help."

"Yes, but it would make things a lot easier if he just accepted it and wouldn't fight every bit of it."

"He is a Shitennou. He won't give in easily."

"Excuse me? Give in to what? You sound like I torture him. It's not like I tie him to his bed, although that would make a lot of sense in his state of mind. I didn't cut him to pieces, I didn't invite him here, I don't see why I get all the trouble just because I let him stay and have an eye on him."

"He's not used to being weak. He'll behave better when he gets better."

"He's not going to get better like this."

xxxxx

He didn't get better.

The times where he just was in pain instead of protesting or complaining got longer and more frequent. Rei had a sinking feeling about this. She already dreaded the evening when he usually was worse, and this night it would be her who was on duty. She tried to talk him into taking some pain killers, but he refused so stubbornly, she finally gave it up.

The evening started bad. Jadeite moaned, when he fought through longer and longer phases of pain, and got so exhausted that he finally broke into tears in between them. And he still didn't accept help.

Why? thought Rei who felt like crying herself. Why does he do that to himself?

She couldn't do anything but stay beside him, helpless as he cringed and gasped for air.

After an eternity of this, he suddenly got silent. His aura seemd to shrink until it got smaller and brighter than it should have been able to, and Rei knew just too well what that meant.

Eyes wide open, he stared into something far away.

"Kunzite!" he called, hours of sobbing making his voice tremble. "Nephrite! Zoisite! Master!"

But they weren't there.

Rei's heart couldn't take it any more.

He is dying, she thought, and couldn't hold back the tears. He is dying and he is alone and scared. Noone should have to die like that. Noone should have to die alone.

"Jadeite!" she said. "Come to me."

She tugged him onto her lap and took him into her arms. He was limp and heavy and groaned when she touched him, but he didn't resist her. She looked down on him, in her arms, avoiding his eyes.

"It's okay, Jadeite. I am here. Don't be afraid. Don't fight it. Everything is going to be okay."

And he just kept looking at her, and she kept holding him tight in her arms, tears streaking down her face, murmuring reassuring things that would make it easier for him to die.

But he didn't die. He took a long time to come back, but finally, very, very slowly, his aura started to spread and fade to normal again, and when it reached its original state, Jadeite sighed, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Rei stayed a long time like this, listening to his breath, not wanting to let go of him, feeling nothing but a numb kind of peace. She hadn't been able to hold her mother when she passed away, she had just been a small girl, frozen to her place, crying, panicking, not knowing, not understanding, just feeling like she was falling off the edge of the world into nothing...

It was good to know that she now could handle it. Not that it'd help her mother much any more. But still, it was good to know that for once, she had gotten it right.

xxxxx

The next morning, Jadeite greeted her with a faint smile.

From now on, he didn't resist her help any more.

Everyone was impressed.

"It was about time", was Rei's only comment.


	5. Chapter 5 Struck

Rei couldn't believe how fast he recovered once he started to eat.

"You know, just thinking you could have healed like this the whole time, I could get really mad."

"Hai", said Jadeite and grinned into his breakfast.

"You really are an idiot!"

"Hai."

"Are you trying to make fun of me?"

"Could be."

"It better not be."

He just grinned. It was annoying Rei, but to her own surprise, she suddenly laughed.

"I can't believe you are well enough to get cheeky! Now eat that before regret it and take it with me again!"

"Hai."

xxxxx

Jadeite's wounds closed, and he was soon able to sit up, and shortly after that, even with the horrible gash in his thigh started to limp a few painful steps through the guest room. His arm that had been broken many times and slashed through everything that was important stayed numb and powerless, but he just shrugged it off, telling Rei he had always healed, he'd heal this time as well. Knowing his fighting style, it was no surprise for Rei that he was two-handed.

He still didn't want help from anyone besides Rei and Nephrite, and as soon as she thought she could do it all on her own, Rei dismissed everyone else from Jadeite duty. Everyone assumed Jadeite would be doing most things himself now, but there were many times he was too faint even to lift up a glass of water, and Rei would have to spend a lot more time on him than she had thought she would. Still, she liked it better to have her place back for herself again.

There were days when he just sat there, face blank, silent, with only a faint smile as a greeting, and his cold blue eyes on her all the time, and she felt like her skin wanted to creep off her.

Then there were days where he wouldn't stop until he got up and walked around and exhausted himself trying to do all the things he shouldn't be able to do yet, and usually ended up on the floor, cursing through clenched teeth.

And then there were the moments when he was just well, grinning a lot and talking a lot - most of it was crap that weirded out Rei - and playing all kinds of little teleport tricks on her, and laughing when she got mad, his eyes sparkling when they followed her.

She knew she should be happy that he got better, that he got more himself. Only she didn't like his usual self any better than his faded out self.

She didn't want company in the first place, and definitely not his, and she hated his way of either teasing her or focussing silently on her with his blank stare. She didn't want that much attention. But whenever she told him to stop glaring at her, his healing would fall apart and he'd have another bad evening. And she needed no more of that.

xxxxx

The boy was hard to entertain. Talking to him didn't go very well.

"Jadeite, what happened to you?"

"Botched a battle."

"And that's all?"

He sneered. "That's more than enough."

"More than enough to end up here in that state?"

"Obviously."

He shot her a calculating gaze. She had never caught him with an outright lie, but he sure knew when not to talk. The caution in his eyes did nothing to ease Rei's suspicions.

Other attempts to talk didn't go much better.

"Do yo need something?"

"No."

"You'll feel better if you have some distractions. I can get you some books or movies."

"I got a headache."

"Or some other music than this one?"

He played Zoisite's CD over and over, and each time it played a different tune.

"I don't like music. I'm just used to the background noise."

"It's beautiful. Did Zoisite play all this?"

"It's the Chopin marathon. He must be really pissed. I bet everyone in the house is up the walls now."

He grinned a nasty little grin. Rei rolled her eyes and changed the topic.

"I could borrow some computer games from Usagi's brother."

"It'll just make my headache worse."

He obeyed any command of her without hesitating, but his pride still set limits to the help he'd accept.

"Come on, you don't have to hesistate to ask if there is something you want. It's not like I am doing you a favor. The sooner you are well, the earlier you can leave again. So, what do you want to do all day?"

"Running units, speed drill, battle drill, blade drill, advanced spells, driving lessons and kicking the asses of the blade monsters", he mumbled sarcastically.

"Sounds fun", commented Rei dryly. No wonder he got cranky if he had to sit still. Rei envied the Shitennou who could just load tons of hard work on Jadeite if he got on their nerves. Maybe that was the secret why they liked him, he might be nearly bearable once he was busy. "Well, it'll be a while before you can think of any of those things again, but if I find a blade monster on my way home from school, I'll be sure to bring it to you so you can at least practise."

He idly let a little ball of energy form in his good hand and let it flicker from fingertip to fingertip.

"Yeah, do that. I want to hear one scream."

That was the point where Rei gave it up and turned to leave. This guy was just too creepy. He could say the most disgusting things looking so young and sweet, his eyes soft and innocent. He looked so easy to scare and breakable, and still he yearned to fight nasty bladed things and had an aura so strong that it almost was painful.

"No throwing magic around in here, Jadeite. Don't mess up the magic of the place, or we'll be in blade monsters up to our necks, because they want to see you as badly as you want to see them."

xxxxx

Around noon, Jadeite would be sleepy, and Rei thought this would be the best time to remove the last stitches.

"Jadeite, please help me take off the jacket. I need to have a look at your arm."

He did as she told him, which was still coming as a surprise to Rei each time, and let her take off his jacket, and the shirt he wore beneath. He sulked a bit about having been stitched up in the first place, but held out his arm to let her work on it without hesitating.

"Can I ask you something, Jadeite?"

"Sure."

"Do you remember the time in the Dark Kingdom?"

"Yeah."

"There was a fight we had - you vanished in the middle of it."

"Yeah, I remember that one. It was really good. You tried to fry me." He smirked.

"Yes, about that... you were in pain and vanished, and we didn't see you for a long time, and when you were back, you said you had been revived. Did we... kill you at that time?"

"No. Zoisite did that. And I wasn't really dead. Just exhausted from the Flight. Beryl-sama put me in stone form so I could recover."

"Zoisite tried to kill you?"

He shot her an amused look.

"Ah no, even Dark Kingdom Zoisite wouldn't do that. Except when you disturbed him on the piano. Like, hit the keys when he was looking for the princess, and told him she wasn't a real blonde anyway."

Rei grinned.

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because I'm a real blonde, and I needed a Mind Flight."

Rei stared at him, with her mouth open.

He smirked, eyes already half closed.

"And I got one."

He was so dozy that he actually slept in while Rei cut the threads and carefully pulled them out. Rei was glad, she preferred him silent. He was actually quite nice to have around if he didn't open his mouth, or his eyes.

It was a sunny day. How peaceful he slept, how trusting he had given himself into her hands, how much better he had become now he admitted to her help... Rei couldn't help but feeling proud, and filled with a wish to willingly heal him. She tipped some of the healing oil Zoisite had brought over onto the lighter wounds, careful not to wake him up. Now that the cold sweat and all the blood was gone, she didn't mind touching him any more. His skin was soft, warmer than a human's, and smelled good. Her fingertips wandered over his arm. The sunlight made the blond hair on his arm shimmer like gold.

Rei discovered for the first time that, additionally to the golden body hair, his body was covered all over in a coat of short, almost invisibly fine blond hair. It should have made him look like an animal, but instead it was just incredibly beautiful.

Rei had never paid much attention to blond hair, not even to the transformation of Usagi or Minako. Now she saw that Jadeite's blond had golden reflexes and a whole number of shades on one single person. That was really nice. She wondered briefly why his eyes weren't golden as well, it would have looked good. It was odd that blond people came with cold blue eyes.

She let her gaze wander over the boy. Well, without the shirt it became quite clear that he wasn't as boyish as his innocent face made him look. He was so thin that it was worrying, but he was wiry. Long, thin muscles moved under his skin, and his shoulders were a bit wider than of those schoolboys that Rei had ever bothered to pay no attention to.

She knew how fast he could move, and that he didn't hesitate to attack any number of enemies with nothing more than two daggers, a handful of magic and a hell of an attitude, and she wondered how strong he really was. It was hard to tell with Shitennou, but he might be stronger than she had expected.

Her fingers spread the last trace of oil. It felt like she could build up strength in him with her own hands. She had never done anything like this before, but it was one of the few things, maybe the only thing about him, that she liked.

xxxxx

On the days when Jadeite wasn't feeling well, Rei took her homework to his room. It was silent there, especially when he was sleeping, but when he was awake she couldn't concentrate, with him always watching her, and the days being hot and damp.

"You any good at math?" she asked one day out of despair.

"At what?"

"Math. You know, numbers. Formulas. Calculations of all kinds."

"I know what math is. They don't let you do long-distance and subspace teleport without letting you really suffer for it in theory class. What do you need?"

Rei read the assignment to him. He asked a few questions, then rapped out a number of answers that seemed to be correct, from what Rei hoped she understood.

"Wow, thanks," she said, scribbling down what he had said. "Didn't you say you have a headache?"

He sneered. "That wasn't hard. I always thought you Moon people were so good at astronomy, how come you don't know any math?"

Rei was kind of offended, because she knew damn well he wasn't exactly a bright guy. Whoever had trained him was a genius.

"We don't have many memories about the moon lives. It's just bits and pieces, and knowing how to fight."

"Do you remember me?"

"From back then? No."

A huge grin crawled over his face. "I was wondering about that, you know. Nothing at all?"

"Why? What is there to remember? We weren't supposed to even have met any of you decadent Earth guys if I am right."

"I don't remember much of the past either. I don't remember you. But Kunzite always takes advantage of that and makes cryptic jokes about you and me, and then he and Zoisite snicker. I think it would be an interesting memory. Think we should search for it?"

Rei froze. "Not if it's _that_ interesting."

"Scared, Senshi of Passion? Afraid of how far we could have gone?"

"Shut up, Jadeite. There is no how far. No matter at what time in the past, I would have had _taste_."

He just laughed.

But he did all her math homework.

xxxxx

"Ha! And then Kunzite not only insisted we use a tactic that requires a flyer, but also that he was the flyer _and_ shielding the Master and of course, as soon as we were fighting, he ended up being top, middle, front, end and side, and all the time yelling at us that we should hold our position and not get in his way, until I yelled back if he would mind if the Master and me had a nice cup of tea in the meantime, and then we yelled a while, and he still wouldn't give in, and we ended up more or less watching with our arms folded, and he got his ass kicked real well before he finally had taken them all down. Man, I think next time I bring a thermos to battle just to see his face."

Rei had never heard Nephrite talk that much in one go, or smile so much.

"Like you ever fight any different from that", sneered Jadeite with a grin. The grin alone would have been enough to drive more patient people than Nephrite up the walls.

"What, you bastard", Nephrite replied and smacked him on his bad arm. Jadeite flinched, and Rei expected Nephrite to apologize, but he just smacked him once more at the same place, until Jadeite finally joined in and hit him back, and they broke into the most unfair fight that Rei had ever seen. It took Nephrite less than a minute to pin Jadeite down with one hand.

"Come on, you baby, defend yourself!" he said with a mean grin.

Rei saw a gleam out of the corner of her eye.

"Jadeite! Nephrite! No throwing around magic in here!"

Nephrite turned to her, guilt-ridden.

"Sorry, Mars."

Jadeite took the chance to knock his arm away, and they started fighting all over again.

Boys, thought Rei, rolling her eyes.

xxxxx

When Rei wrapped off Jadeite's bandages in the evening to check his wounds for the night, she saw the box of candy that Nephrite must have brought, and the writing on the card that went with it. Amis neat handwriting, and something that looked like a drunken Viking had written it while his ship had been in a huge thunder storm.

"That Nephrite's handwriting?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Wow. Can't make out a single word. Does he always write like this?"

Jadeite took the card in his good hand and studied it.

"Now that's pretty awful even for Nephrite. He must be out of practise. Not much use for Old Silver Demotic around here, I guess. But the poem is nice. What's that what Ami wrote?"

He asked so casually that Rei took a second to understand.

"You can't read?"

He shot her a look of contempt.

"I can read very well. To be a decent Shitennou, I have been trained in literature, lyrics and calligraphy, and I have read tons of letters in my former life. I just can't read _this_."

"Japanese? Kanji?"

"Whatever."

"I could teach you while you are sick. You've got a lot of time, and you are really going to need to read now that you going to stay in our times for a while."

"The Master teaches us already. It's not like I can't read it at all. Just not very good."

"I will get you some books so you can practise."

"Don't bother. It's no good. At the moment, I get a headache when I look at things too closely."

"But your head is going to get better. Don't worry, it's not your fault you have skipped some thousands of years. You just need some practise."

She changed the topic quickly after that. Obviously, Jadeite didn't want to discuss this topic.

But then why did he ask about the card? thought Rei.

xxxxx

One day, he sat outside. He had left the jacket of his uniform inside, and sat there just in the poorly mended black shirt and trousers, barefoot, and looked at her with a triumphant smile.

"Jadeite, please, no teleporting where you can be seen."

"I _walked_."

His smile was infectuous. Rei found herself smiling back at him.

"All the way to here? Wow!"

She sat next to him. Shitennou sure were tough if they could force themselves through so much pain, or maybe just plain stupid, thought Rei.

"You know your leg will heal faster if you let it rest."

"Yeah, but I go nuts if I have to stay indoors all the time."

"Okay, then it's time we get you clothes. Don't make such a face. It's either normal clothing, or human transformation. And maybe a haircut."

"No human transformation. And no haircut. Why is everyone always trying to mess up my hair?"

"Come on, your head looks like someone had been over it with a chainsaw. Nothing could make it any worse."

"No. Way. The moment my scars heal, I can rematerialize my hair. Exactly the way it was."

"If you say so."

"How about you, Mars? You never transform these days? Entirely human all the time?"

"Not really. Something remains. You don't have to pity me."

"I don't pity you. I just think your transformation was really cool. Do you sometimes miss the time when we were enemies?"

"Yes."

No use denying it. It had been great to have Senshi powers, and find her friends.

"Me too."

"You miss being evil?" she teased him.

"Yeah."

That wasn't what Rei had expected.

"Why? You were held under a curse! You helped to build the power that destroyed the world."

He smiled his lopsided business smile.

"Yeah. I liked it. It was fun."

Rei stared at him in disbelief.

"You don't regret it? Even now that you're free from the curse?"

The smile was gone.

"I only regret that I failed."

Something in Rei went cold.

"You just say that to annoy me..." she said.

He didn't answer.

"Jadeite... if you are telling me straight in the face that you do not regret attacking people, conjuring up youmas, and feeding the evil, you are out of here this minute. I will not have anyone like this around me."

Jadeites answer came fast and cool and unimpressed.

"I'm a Shitennou. I don't get to choose my allegiance. I get orders, I follow them. Failing is not an option. Moral objections aren't either. Regret has nothing to do with it."

He stubbornly stared back at her, and never in her life had Rei wanted to hit someone so badly.

"You take that back this minute", whispered Rei.

"Of course", said Jadeite with a slight smirk in the corner of his mouth.

"Really?"

"How could I refuse an order? I am to do what you say, remember?"

Reis eyes narrowed in disgust.

"In that case, I order you to never talk like that again."

Jadeite smirked, and bowed deep, hand on his chest.

"As you wish, Mars-sama."

It was a cheap victory, but Rei felt satisfied. No way would he boast into her face with what he had done and get away with it. Still, how could he be so cold? She had seen his face on the day when Nephrite had died in the Dark Kingdom, and when Jadeite had been forced to point his dagger at his own throat. He had been scared to death. How much fun could the rest of it have been? And it wasn't just Nephrite he had seen dying. And he himself? He had been buried alive, and even if she knew he hadn't survived that for long, he might well have died the slowest and most painful death of them all...

"Jadeite", she said and carefully put a hand on his arm. "It's not easy to let go of the past. But it's not getting easier if you don't admit to your feelings. How will you ever come to terms with Kunzite again if you pretend you enjoyed killing him in the Dark Empire? I know what happened at that day, Usagi told us."

He stared at her in shock, as if she had hit him, his cheeks blushing, and she knew she had been right. The cold had just been a facade.

He only admitted her hand there for a moment longer, then he turned away.

"Please, Mars, don't", he said. "How I feel about it doesn't change a thing about what happened."

"Yes, it does."

xxxxx

Soon, Jadeite walked around the grounds of the shrine with only a slight limp, and Rei got a bit uneasy at the thought what he'd do while she was at school. He wouldn't go out of the protected area of the shrine and look for trouble, would he? He would, sooner or later. The boy definitely needed something to do.

She arranged that he'd volunteer around the shrine, easy jobs, for the "restless young man who just recovered from surgery and can't do heavy work yet". He simply accepted the decision, not showing any approval or disapproval. She brought him working clothes, and guessing he'd be as clueless as ever about how to put on real clothes, stayed to help.

Today, his hand seemed to be worse, he even struggled with the familiar closures of his uniform, and took a less complicated path.

Jadeite just had to jerk his chin, and the Shitennou uniform was gone. There he sat, the fresh scars slashed all around him in dark red, his golden body hair standing out against his darker skin.

"Wow, it must be convenient to be able to undress that easily", said Rei, trying to let the situation sound all normal. She already knew how he looked naked, right? Although maybe not all that naked...

"I didn't undress", said Jadeite with a grin. "There never really is a uniform. It's just a manifestation of power."

"You mean... you guys all run around naked, so to say?"

"Interesting thought, huh?"

Rei shot him a disapproving look. "Not really."

Definitely not!

He didn't seem to be in a hurry to get dressed, because he just kept sitting and smiling at her, relaxed and not one bit shy.

"Do you like to see me naked?" he asked.

Now how did one answer that? wondered Rei and blushed. She did like it, but he would get the wrong idea if she told him that.

"It's an improvement to the uniform", she said dryly.

He didn't let her get away that easily. "You must have seen every inch of me a lot lately. Did you take a closer look? Did you like it?"

"That was different. That was for care. When you're a nurse or a doctor, everything is just another body part. Besides, if you have seen one man, you have seen them all."

He was sulking. "Hey, I am pretty unique. Are you saying I look like any other man you have seen before?"

"Absolutely!"

He sulked for one more moment, but then he got up and made a step so he stood before Rei. She thought she knew him well enough now to see that this was just another way to tease her - just a joke, right? She kept her gaze fixed on his face. If she pretended he wasn't naked at all...

"But I don't need a nurse or a doctor any more", he said. "No need to still hide your feelings."

"I don't need to hide any feelings! I am not interested in you!"

"Because 'everyone knows you don't like Jadeite'", he said in a mocking tone. "Although you haven't even tried him."

He lifted a hand to reach her face. The smile on his face was one that she hadn't seen before, light, concentrated, almost painful.

Rei was speechless, not quite knowing what to do.

"Mars", he said softly and his hand gently touched her cheek.

Shitennou! yelled her instincts, and: Man too close! And: I'm losing it!

"No!" Before she knew what she was doing, she hit his face with all that she had. To her shock, he flew through the room and smashed hard into the wall. He slumped to the floor, eyes staring blankly for a moment.

"Jadeite!"

He was already getting back onto his feet again, holding the side of his face, but he was swaying, clenching his teeth in the all too familiar way and looking confused.

"I am so sorry, Jadeite, I didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"No, it's not! You are hurt! I hit a helpless person. I can't believe what's gotten into me, it's unforgiveable!"

"No, Mars, it's okay. I don't mind. I deserved it, really. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

And what made it worse was that he was. He was sorry for her hitting him, giving her a round-eyed pleading look of guilt while he was almost too dizzy to stand upright.

Rei couldn't take it any longer, she turned and fled.

"Mars, I'm sorry!" he called after her.

xxxxx

She fled to the store room, to be alone in her old childhood hiding place. It took a while until she felt calm enough again to call Minako. She was extremely lucky that Minako called her back within an hour. She must still have sounded pretty upset.

Minako tried to be nice, but she didn't see the point at all.

"And? Did he deserve it?"

"No, he didn't! He was just sweet and nice, he just touched my face, and I went berserk on him in a fraction of a second."

"He did what? I can't believe that weasel had the nerve to try something!"

"Minako, it was harmless. He tried to flirt with me, yes, not very good, but all in the open, and I saw it coming a mile away. l just could have told him to stop it. I can't believe I did such a thing to him!"

"You just smacked him."

"No, Minako, I didn't. I struck him down, he hit the wall so hard that he almost fainted. He is a sick person, hardly strong enough to be on his feet, and I hurt him as bad as I could. For what? It was nothing! I never thought I'd be able to do a thing like that."

"I am also surprised that you were able to do that. That sounds pretty strong for just one blow. Did some of your powers return?"

"No. I think I can do a rebound of his Shitennou powers."

"Wow, that's pretty cool actually. I didn't know we can do that."

"It's not cool, Minako, it's awful. I feel like I am turning into my father."

"You can't believe that!"

"Don't you understand?" said Rei, and she almost cried now. "Jadeite says I shouldn't hide my feelings, and the next thing is I hit him. That's just what my father would have done. He's done it before, and I hated him so much for it. But he just slapped me, and he was desperate at that moment! But I wasn't desperate, and still I did it, worse than anything he has ever done, I just had it in me, without knowing about it, and Jadeite released it."

"So you are your father's daughter after all, with a taste of Senshi. It's something you'll have to live with. That doesn't mean you turn into him."

"I am so ashamed of myself. I really meant to hurt the boy, hurt him real bad, crack his skull...I thought I'd be better than my father, and better than Kunzite... I thought I'd despise Kunzite for whatever he has done to Jadeite until the end of my life. And now..."

"And now you finally find out you are just human, when you thought you'd be perfect. Hey, noone is perfect. Noone but me. I would have smacked that little bastard on day one, and you bet he wouldn't have given me any trouble. So you're just catching up on me with a delay." She grinned.

"That's not funny."

"Come on, Rei, smile. Don't be so hard on yourself. You've been forced to be with this guy for way too long, it was just a question of time until you'd need to release some pressure. I bet he even enjoyed it, the creeper that he is."

"That's the worst part - he apologized. For making me mad. For making me want to kill him."

"You're surprised?"

"What? You're not?"

Minako laughed. "Not one bit."

xxx

Rei felt better after the call. She went searching for Jadeite and found him sitting on a bench in the yard. He was wearing the working clothes, indeed clueless of how they were put on correctly, and looked very pale except for the mark where she had hit him, but he gave her a smile when he saw her. She sat down next to him, suppressed the urge to rearrange his clothes and let the sun speckle her face with light through the leaves of the trees above them, and felt a bit better. If only every problem could melt away in the sun.

"Are you okay, Jadeite?" she asked. Whatever his condition, the sun looked spectacular on his hair.

"Sure, I'm fine."

"Listen, Jadeite, about before... I don't know what happened. My instincts just said "Shitennou" and acted on their own."

"That's actually flattering, you know."

"What?"

"Remember all the fights we've had. Looks like I made some impression, eh?"

"Could be."

"Not so easy to let go of the past, eh?"

"Could be."

"Come on, Mars, why are you so cranky? I told you I don't mind."

Rei turned to him and gave him a furious look. "But you should! If someone hits you for nothing, you should be mad! Why do you accept this kind of treatment from me? Don't you have any self-respect?"

"I just don't make such a big deal out of it. We're warriors, we've seen too many bad times, sometimes one of us snaps. It happens. So you snapped at me - so what? I can take it. If I couldn't take a blow like that, I wouldn't even have lasted through my first year of sword drill."

Rei shook her head. "Maybe you are used to this kind of thing, but I am not."

"Please stop feeling bad about yourself. It won't change a thing. You're not going to make me mad at you. You're just going to make me mad at myself for ruining your day."

Rei sighed. "Now I am blackmailed into feeling better with such a cheap trick? I really don't have it easy with you."

He grinned. "Not used to have a man who is nice to you? And you are lecturing me about self-respect?"

"Shut up, Jadeite. I was just beginning to like you."

"I like you too, Mars," he said, and there was a sparkle in his eyes.

His hand reached for her face again.

"Wanna try again? It'll be easier with some practise..."

Rei caught his hand in mid-air. "Jadeite! Are you trying to make me hit you again?!"

He snickered. "Actually, I am trying to make you kiss me. But whatever suits you, Mars..."

She angrily stared at him. "You got a hell of a nerve, boy. I am not going to kiss you, and I am not going to hit you either. You should be grateful for both. Don't try that ever again. And now excuse me."

She dropped his hand, got up and left.

She needed a big distance between him and herself now.

Maybe in the old times, people actually were right to live on the moon as long as Shitennou lived on earth. I am starting to see Minako's point - he does enjoy that kind of game. And he's really good at it, and I am not. If he really doesn't mind if I hit or kiss him, I might end up kissing him. And I couldn't even pretend that I had just taken pity on him for being so messed up, but it would be him taking pity on me for messing up!

_Wait a minute, I am thinking of kissing Jadeite?_

_Kunzite is a dead man!_


	6. Chapter 6 Hurt

She hadn't seen Zoisite come, but he couldn't have been there very long, because she had only left for a moment. Jadeite just stared at Zoisite, with that blank look on his face and the slightly turned head that Rei knew as his defensive battle stance. He couldn't have looked more uninviting if he had materialized his daggers. Zoisite didn't seem to know what to do with it, because for a while, he didn't do anything.

Then, slowly, he came closer and closer to Jadeite whose stare got grimmer. Jadeite was about to turn away, when Zoisite lifted a hand and gently buried it in Jadeite's hair.

"Jadeite."

Jadeite tried to get away from him, his face suddenly all tense and pale, but Zoisite's hand had already a hold on his head and tried to turn him back so he would face him.

"Jadeite!"

Jadeite turned only long enough to have one look at Zoisite's face, then he jerked himself free and ran.

Rei stepped closer and shot Zoisite a disapproving look.

"Now what was that about?" she asked sharply.

Zoisite didn't look at her.

"Nothing."

And with a flick of his cape, he was gone.

***

Jadeite didn't come back, and after a while, Rei got nervous and decided to search for him. He could have teleported everywhere, but she didn't have to go far. He had a favourite place where he was hidden between the trees that grew around the shrine, and there he sat.

His face was covered in sweat, his hair was dark and damp. Maybe he had run a lot, but he looked more like he had sat here movingless, sweating and trembling. His eyes were gleaming unnaturally.

"Jadeite, what's wrong?" asked Rei, and put a hand on his shoulder, but she got no answer.

"Jadeite, are you okay? What is the matter with you? What did Zoisite want? Don't you want to come back with me?"

He didn't react at all, and Rei didn't know what to do. So she just sat down, watched him, and waited.

It was getting dark when Jadeite suddenly spoke to her, eyes still looking to

somewhere far away.

"Did you ever bring death to someone you loved?"

She didn't answer. This question rose a lot of memories she'd rather not deal with.

After a while, Jadeite kept on talking, almost against his will. He just had to tell someone, it seemed to Rei.

"In the Dark Kingdom... I brought death to everyone I loved... and worse things than death...

Zoisite got too close to me... He just wouldn't let go of me, and I was so scared I would finally give in to him... so I slowly broke his will to live until he couldn't take it any more...

I killed Kunzite with my own hands, and let Nephrite die... I let Master Endymion be taken over by Metallia, because I was too cowardly to kill him fast and clean...

And I brought death to the woman who meant more to me than my own life."

He paused, but he would continue, Rei knew, so she waited.

"She would have me around till the end, although I didn't deserve it in the slightest way. She knew it was my fault that the world was going to end, that my failure would be the end of her, and still she forgave me. She died before my eyes when the earth was destroyed. I just lived long enough to see... how..."

He wasn't crying. He just ran out of words, and Rei had a feeling he had run out of tears long ago.

"It wasn't your fault that the earth was destroyed! How can you say that!"

"Yes it was. I had order to kill Endymion before Metallia could take him over. I failed. That's why the Princess destroyed Earth. And Kunzite..."

His voice becaome more lively. "Kunzite should have done it. Endymion revived him just to be killed by him, but Kunzite couldn't bring himself to do it. He even got in my way when I tried. And he's not even sorry about it one bit. Oh yes, sense of duty, why not let the world end if you can save your Master? He should have ended it there, or he should have let me end it. But of course, he always knows better. And so the world ended, and we all died."

"You can't blame yourself, or Kunzite. It was the hatred of Metallia that destroyed the planet."

"It was the Princess who destroyed the planet!"

"And she brought it back again."

"Yeah, thanks a lot. So I can live through the mistakes of my old live over and over again. I'd rather be dead."

"Is that why you tried to starve and bleed yourself to death?"

"That was because I failed again. I hate to fail. I swore I would never fail again."

"That's stupid. And you were outnumbered."

"I have broken the formation. I was the one who should have shielded Zoisite. He almost got killed."

"And that is all? Like noone is ever going to make a mistake? Like Zoisite wouldn't need you to defend him if his swordsmanship wasn't so lousy? That's what you and

Kunzite are at each other's throats for? I can't believe it!

Listen, Jadeite, we have this new life now. Don't waste it by taking all the bad parts from the old life with you. Look what it's doing to you! You have to let go of what was."

"I can't!"

"You mean you don't want to!"

"Yes, that's right, I don't want to! You have real lives, with real people. All I have is memories!"

"So... you haven't found... her...?"

"Beryl-sama wasn't revived. Zoisite would know."

Beryl! Rei was mad at herself for not having realized before who the woman was he had been talking about. And she suddenly felt the old hatred for that so-called Queen rise in her. Why did she have to do that to him? Why did she have to put him under a curse that held his heart in her brutal grip and force him to do things that would destroy him? She could at least have lifted the curse off him at the end, why take his heart with her when she knew she'd die? She had to know he was almost immortal, she had no right to posess his soul for longer than one life.

But this was useless thinking. Could have, should have, what the hell. That was over. Now it was important to help Jadeite.

She put a hand on his shoulder.

"But that doesn't mean a thing! You remember her, right?"

He just sneered.

"Then she will return", said Rei firmly. "We brought back Usagi because we remembered her, and she remembered Mamoru, and he brought you back. Memories of people like us have powers. Just be patient. Just think of how she would be without the Dark Powers poisoning her."

"I know how she would be. I've alway been able to see it. I am not as stupid as everyone thinks I am."

Rei didn't know what to say. Her hand sank back. Now she understood... the curse hadn't been able to destroy the good in him... and this just hurt him more than any curse could have... and it was the real Jadeite that hurt, not any broken remains... no wonder he was so sad...

"Oh man, Jadeite, what a mess", she said meekly.

"Wouldn't want to bring her back anyway", he said. "What for? To see Kunzite kill her? Maybe he already has."

"Now don't talk like that. Zoisite would know, right?

And stop blaming yourself for the past. We all did something we are sorry for. Think I didn't try to kill my best friend when she was about to destroy the planet? You bet I did. Think I am proud of that? No. But what good would it do if I just punished myself over and over for that? Forgiveness, Jadeite. That's why we are still friends. That's why our new lives are worth living."

He didn't respond. She tried a little smile.

"Look at me, I just thought all that time that I had killed you in our first battle, think of the time I would have wasted if I had regretted _that_."

A tiny lopsided smile appeared in the corner of his mouth.

"And still you cried for me that night when you thought I'd die," he said.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because noone else did. Stupid as you may be, but you didn't deserve to die on your own."

"Noone does, right?"

"Yes. Noone does."

The smile on his face reached his eyes, who shone up like stars, and Rei thought that stupid as he might be, he had long understood some things about life that she only just began to grasp.

She sat closer to him, so close that they touched each other. Steadying Jadeite when he was faint had already become normal, and she had her arm around his shoulders before she knew what was happening.

"Life sure is crazy. Or maybe we're both just crazy."

"Yeah."

"What do you mean, yeah? You're supposed to protest and tell me that we are maybe just damn right."

"I don't feel like lying tonight."

"Idiot."

"Hai."

***


	7. Chapter 7 Tested

The kannushi, the priest of the shrine, had started taking an interest in Jadeite, much to Rei's discomfort, and often stopped by to talk to him. She eyed them suspiciously as they sat together, the older man doing most of the talking. She couldn't exactly prevent this to happen - after all, it was very generous of the shrine to host a stranger only on Rei's behalf, and they would of course want to get to know him. And Jadeite was hard to ignore, not only because of the hair, but also because he was always in the middle of wherever something interesting happened.

Kids loved him, especially the boys who begged him to chase them with his broom in mocked fighting stances, or tell them stories about monsters, and there were always little girls fighting about who was next to hold his hands. Parents and grandparents were happy for their kids to enjoy the visit at the shrine, and pleased by a young man so devoted to tradition.

Rei felt a pang of jealousy. She had been devoted to tradition for years. And she had always loved to work with kids, but she had to admit that she did best with girls in school age who didn't just run around so randomly any more. While Jadeite was all about random energy, and a natural when it came to staring at those who didn't behave. He attracted all the little rascals who knew a fellow trouble-maker when they saw one, and mysteriously for Rei, this did not result in a critical mass of nonsense, but some noisy kind of order which they called fun.

Well, she could appreciate this as a service for the shrine, but the thing about the teenage girls was certainly of no use for anything. She had to give him credit for trying to avoid them, but once word had gotten around that a blond new guy was flashing out big smiles at the shrine, flocks of girls would have urgent matters to pray for suddenly, and do a lot of useless giggling around Jadeite. Rei was mortified when her classmates started questioning her about Jadeite at school. They got pretty cranky when Rei refused to give any information about him except that he was recovering from being sick and should be left alone. Rei didn't care because at that point, she was already pretty cranky herself.

And just when she thought it couldn't get worse, she realized that Jadeite didn't just smile at girls. She definitely saw a guy blush under his smile, and once she had realized that, she recognized a certain pattern about quite a number of casual conversations Jadeite had with men, like standing too close to them or using unsuspicious ways to touch them, and definitely smiling too much, and looking way too innocent.

And now the kannushi wanted to talk to her about Jadeite. Rei was worried about it, but she had brought Jadeite here, and she would have to deal with any problems there would be.

To her surprise, he thanked her for asking Jadeite to help around the shrine. She felt embarassed.

"That is very kind of you, but I know he is not always at his best behaviour, I hope he isn't too much of a disturbance for the shrine."

"Not at all, not at all. He is an energetic young man, and getting out the first time after a long involuntary rest, it's just natural he'd be so lively. He reminds me very much of my grandson. But, there is something I wanted to ask you, Rei."

"Yes?" asked Rei nervously.

"I have been trying to get to know him better, but he is very careful not to show his talents."

"His talents?" Rei suddenly had a feeling like she was getting sick.

"His talents for detecting youmas, curses, and spirits of all kinds. I have trained people like you, people with special talents, all my life. I have known so many that I have developped a certain instinct for this kind of thing. I have devoted my life to keep people safe, and I am always delighted to see anyone doing the same. You have made me very proud, Rei."

Now Rei couldn't answer anymore. She had blushed so much that her head must look like a traffic light. She had to blink tears away.

"And I have a feeling that you are helping this young man because there is something about him being able to detect youmas, that connects the two of you."

Rei hardly dared to nod.

"I have tested him. I think I will have to apologize to him for that, I was a bit mean. Offering him to drink from a cursed cup, things like that. He always detected the traps. He wouldn't admit to it though, making polite excuses. He is very good, it takes him no effort at all, no time at all, to see through the surface of things. You realized that, didn't you."

"Yes", said Rei cautiously. It didn't hurt to admit that much. As long as she didn't have do admit that she had seen him not only detecting youmas, but conjuring them up, controlling them, and sending them out to chase innocent people, and telling her how much he had liked that.

"Very well. You did well to protect him while he was weak, you and your friends."

His smile was so benign and knowing, that Rei was deeply embarassed. He knows about us, she thought, he knew it all the time. How could she have thought she'd get that Senshi power past him?

"As you are so concerned about the young man, may I ask you a question?"

Rei held her breath. He didn't think there was anything between them?

"Do you know what his plans for the future are?"

Rei slowly started to breathe again. "Not entirely. He used to... work for his family, but there has been... an estrangement... between him and an older brother. I think his future plans will depend on whether he can fix that or not."

The priest nodded. "I thought it would be something like this. I want to hear your opinion about something I was thinking about, Rei."

"Yes?"

"You know him better than I do. Do you think he would like to be trained as a priest?"

Rei frowned. If he asked her about this instead of just making the offer to Jadeite, that meant he had doubts. Doubts that she actually shared.

"That's a difficult question. I think it would make him very happy to hear about that kind of option for his future. He certainly has the... talent to detect youmas. But I don't know if he is ready yet to let go of the past and start anew."

"He wouldn't have to cut off the links to his family, you know."

"Yes... but..."

How could she put in words that she was scared by the thought of giving Jadeite responsibility without someone in control of him? Without him being sorry for what he had done in the past?

"I guess Jadeite has to settle some things with himself first", she tried. "He feels guilty for things he hasn't been responsible for, and good about things he should be sorry about. He feels safe where he should be scared, and scared where he should be safe. He is very confused right now, he has to think about his life, and he has never been taught how to do that, and frankly, he is not a big thinker anyway. And... his knowledge of writing and reading Japanese is... only rudimentary. It'd be a long way for him to become a priest, when it's already almost killing him to be himself."

She was afraid she had said something wrong, but the kannushi responded with a very warm smile.

"You have always been very mature, Rei. Responsibility has always come easy for you. You always knew about right and wrong, and your path always lay bright ahead of you.

But it can be very difficult for a young man to grow up, especially if he needs to find a path of his own, and defend it against his upbringing. We need to be patient with him.

I will take your words into very serious account. How would you feel about offering him to stay at the shrine, so he can get an idea of what awaits him if he should make up his mind to bring his talents to use for others? I know his problems trouble you, you really are like an older sister towards him, and I know you will feel responsible for him if he stays. I don't just want to put that responsibility on you, which is certainly not a small one, without hearing you out first."

Rei took a very, very deep breath.

Keeping Jadeite... where she could have an eye on him... where he could do something useful with his powers, having a purpose in life... if Kunzite really refused to take him back, it'd be better than waiting for anything that Jadeite would come up with, which most certainly would involve too much fighting and smiling at strangers...

Yes, this would be good for Jadeite. And bad for her. He already sucked so much strength and attention from her... drove her mad... made her hit him, almost made her kiss him... annoyed and scared her... and there was no telling what he'd turn into if he actually succeeded in bringing Beryl back... it was all going to be one big mess, a constant ordeal, with her in the middle of it, always being too close to him for comfort. It would be hell.

"I... I will have to think about it. Thank you for hearing me out. I think... I think I would like to wait how things work out with his family. If he doesn't go back to them... it would certainly be good for him to live here... but if I am supposed to help him become a priest, I will need the help of my friends. If you agree, I'd like to talk to them first, before making a decision."

The priest nodded. "Do that, Rei. You were always relying just on yourself, and you were strong enough to do so. But it is very reassuring to know that you have friends you aren't afraid to rely on if something exceeds your strength. That is a very big step you have made."

Rei blushed. "Thank you."

He smiled. "No need to thank me, I cannot take credit for that development. I feel like there is little more I could teach you that you haven't already figured out yourself. The young man would do well to learn from you. Take your time for the decision, it is not an easy one. Come to me whenever you need to talk to me about it."

"Yes. Thank you. And you certainly deserve the credit for what I have learned. I couldn't have done any of it without the shelter and advice you gave me."

"It was, and is, a pleasure to have you with us, Rei. You have lightened my days. You, and your friends, will always be welcome here."

xxxxx

Mamoru hadn't been visiting Jadeite for a while, but this evening, he came, grinning happily over his entire face, which was a rare sight.

"Good news, Jadeite. We have defeated the man who made the blade monsters. Yes, you were right about them all along, they were man made. I have even kept you samples you can study."

Jadeite didn't look happy at all.

"Master, I am so terribly sorry I let you down!"

"Now, Jadeite, calm down. I am not mad at you. These things happen. I am not the one you need to apologize to."

"I am very sorry for Zoisite as well!"

"Zoisite is doing well. He looks a lot better than you at the moment, you don't need ot worry about him. Jadeite, you know very well what I mean. I have left this matter entirely to Kunzite. He is the one you will have to deal with."

"I am not going to apologize to Kunzite! If he hadn't set me up aside Zoisite..."

"Jadeite! Stop it! No blaming Kunzite! You got yourself into this, and you will get yourself out of it again! The first thing is that you must get well again. Everything else can wait."

"So you are not taking me with you, Master?"

"No. This is a good place for you to get better. Safe, and quiet. You will return when you are ready to pick up duty again, no earlier.

As the city is safe for you know, you may move freely outside this place. But, Jadeite, no getting in trouble, and you are home by night, you need your rest."

Rei was surprised this was an issue, but Jadeite seemed to know very well what Mamoru had been talking about, he quickly dropped his gaze.

"Yes, Master."

xxxxx

"What is that?" asked Jadeite the next day with a deep frown and pointed at Rei's elbow.

"Oh, no", said Rei. The fabric had been torn open, and the graze on her skin shone through. "My school uniform!"

"Who did that?" asked Jadeite.

"It was noone, I just fell."

"You didn't. Who was it?"

"Man, Jadeite, calm down. Nothing you have to worry about."

That made him just angrier.

"If there is someone who shoves you down, I will not calm down until you tell me who it was! I will make them sorry for it."

"No you don't! I'm just not very popular at my school. It's none of your business."

"I make it my business. You fought for them. They owe you respect. How dare they bully you? Give me their names!"

"And then what? Forget it, Jadeite, it is just a little scratch. I said forget it!"

He didn't. He tried to get the truth out of her for a while longer, and stormed out determined.

"They will regret that they ever bothered you!"

Rei feared for the worst, but nothing happened. She just went to school normally the next day, and the day after that. It was then when the murmuring started in class and other girls started to give her funny looks. Then, on her way home, a girl of her class waited for her in the streets, bowed deeply and apologized.

"Err... thanks..." said Rei.

The same happened three more times with different girls until she was home. On the steps to the shrine, one even waited for her with a spare pen for the one she had taken from her ages ago. Rei was too surprised to refuse taking it. Only when she saw a triumphant Jadeite glare down at the girl from the top of the stairs, and the terrified look she gave him before she ran away, it dawned on her.

"Jadeite!" she called angrily, rushing up the stairs. "What's the meaning of this? Are you terrorizing my class?"

He smirked. "Just teaching some kids some manners."

"You didn't!"

The smirk just got wider. "And not just in your class. I realized there is a whole lot of other guys out there who don't show you the respect you deserve."

"Jadeite! Stop it! I order you to stop it!"

He shook his head. "You are not going to be attacked with a Shitennou at your personal disposal. I would be disgraced if I admitted you came to harm under my protection."

"Excuse me? You are under my protection here, in case you forgot!"

He just gave her another grin. "Then it goes both ways. You're a Guardian. I'm a Guardian. It's built in. There is nothing you can do about it."

To Rei's horror, he was right. There was nothing, absolutely nothing she could do about it. After three days of people tiptoeing around her and being more than polite, or having been hissed at by the more daring ones, and having to fence off the stupid blokes on ther way to school who suddenly had taken up an obsession with offering her refreshments, she finally managed to make Jadeite promise to stop stalking people. He promised, but it didn't help.

She should have known better, she realized. What he did instead, stubbornly, and unstoppably, was to walk her to school. And home again. And glance fiercely at guys twice his size in the streets. And talk to everyone, just everyone she knew, even a teacher who had wanted to send him away from the school gates and got involved into a discussion about Rei's safety at school, ending up charmed and bewildered and allowing him even to enter the school grounds, a boy in a girls' school, it was unheard of.

She came to dread the sight of his blond head at the gates of the school. But there was just no escape. Taking a back entrance would have been too silly. And most probably entirely pointless. Rei knew better than trying to outrun a flyer and teleporter.

And there he was again, looking goofy in the little crowd of school girls that he chatted with, smiling and greeting her and then, to her embarassment, making a point of checking her knees, ellbows and face for any bruises, right in front everyone, and shooting warning glazes at a number of people who would hurry out of his sight. Then he would bicker about being allowed to carry her school bag which Rei defended stubbornly as her last resort of dignity.

Of course, the silliness and sheer amount of rumours this caused was unbelievable.

His strange looks, him always wearing plain black, his weird name, hadn't he beaten up three huge guys just for bothering Hino-san years ago, and touching Hino-san so sweetly allt he time he must more than just a friend, hadn't someone seen them kiss, and didn't he even live with her, probably sleeping on her doormat, but probably a lot closer than that, and didn't someone say she had put him under a spell so he had to follow her?

Rei wanted to scream.

And the worst thing was how much he enjoyed it, every second of it, her suffering, the excitement, the charging of everyone who crossed them...

"Which one of the guys over there do you want, Mars?" he asked on their way home.

"None."

"Come on, they are all looking at you. If I kiss you now, and you blink at them, they will duell among themselves who will take you out tonight."

"Don't you even think of it! And I want none of them!"

"They're pretty cute. A nice lay, each of them."

"I am not interested in boys. They are a waste of time!" she hissed. "And you are not supposed to follow me around, and if you do, you don't have to be so disgusting."

"Just worried about your well-being, Mars, just trying to help! It's not my fault we look so good together that everyone gets jealous."

"Oh, shut up, Jadeite!"


	8. Chapter 8 Stripped

Rei would soon hear of Jadeite's talents again.

They had taken to a habit of having dinner together in Jadeite's room.

Rei entered with a full tray, only to drop it very hard on the table when she felt the dark energy flowing through the room. She spun round and scanned the room for the source. It was sitting on Jadeite's good arm, a toy monster from plastic, one of the ugly beeping reptiloid battle things that kids dragged around with them, only this one didn't beep but snarl and hiss at Jadeite's finger that teased him.

"Youma!" she called out, shocked.

Jadeite smiled proudly at the monster toy.

"Look who's going to eat with us. Come on, be a good boy and say hello!"

And the thing hopped elegantly onto the table and bowed deeply to Rei, only to bare tiny pointy teeth to her right after that.

Rei made a step back, staring at the youma in horror, heart beating fast. But then she realized who was responsible for that disgusting thing and furiously turned towards him.

"Jadeite! Did you do that, right here in the shrine? Did you allow a youma to possess something that has... what is that? Claws? Are you insane?"

"Hai."

"Don't make fun of me. Did you create this youma?"

"Come on, Mars, it's just a toy I borrowed from a kid and tuned a bit," he sulked. "It can't hurt anyone. You don't have to make such a big deal out of it."

"No big deal? What do you think is my job here in this shrine? Housing youmas in the guest rooms? What have you been thinking?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, this kind of thing sometimes just happens when I am bored. Look how tiny it is. You don't have to be scared."

"I'm not scared, but I won't have a youma around. Let me get rid of it!"

Her hand shot up, holding a ban paper, ready to throw. It felt so good to have this power still.

"No! Don't hurt it!" he cried. He shielded the little toy with both hands and looked at Rei so shocked that she almost felt guilty.

"I'll bring it out of here myself, Mars. Right after dinner. I promise."

Rei's hand held the position, aiming at the disgusting thing.

"You are behaving like a three year old! Youmas aren't something to play with!"

Jadeite took the youma into his good hand, pressed him to his chest and turned away from Rei.

"I just wanted some company. He can pick up things for my numb hand. That's all. I don't want to ask for help all the time. I can help myself."

Rei let out a deep sigh and let her hand sink. So that was it...

"That's all very well, Jadeite, but you can't conjure up a youma for that. Not here in this place."

"Just for dinner, okay?"

"You want me to have dinner with a youma?" said Rei unbelieving, but her resistance had already crumbled at the sight of the boy clutching a mean little kicking and snarling youma toy protectively to himself.

He smiled at her. "Something you don't see every day, he?"

"Thank goodness no. For the sake of peace, he can help you around dinner. But that is the last I want to see of a youma in this house!"

"Hai."

***

They sat down to eat, and Rei didn't let the youma thing out of her eye. It was ugly as hell, but it moved with the liquid grace that she recognized from Jadeite's youmas in the Dark Kingdom. And it did a good job to serve him, even if it also tried to fight down every single thing that got in its way including its own reflection in a glass of water.

"How come you can still do that? Control youmas?"

"I always could, ever since I was little. I must have been the only child who wasn't afraid of having monsters in the bedroom, but afraid of having them not hidden well enough to keep everyone from freaking out. "

"Is that why they made you a Shitennou?"

"No, but I guess everyone was happy to hear I would get to learn how to not do it all the time. But it's not so unusual, it comes with the magical training. We all can call youmas, only Kunzite always borrows mine, and never gives them back."

"Wait a minute, you guys still use youmas?"

Jadeite sneered.

"It's either that or me doing all the jobs around the house that noone else wants to bother with. We don't use them for fighting any more, because they upset the Master. But he knows. He once commented on how we finally have clean plates in the house again, and Zoisite gave him the sweetest smile and said, oh, we owe it all to Jadeite. And that was all that was ever being said about it."

Rei grinned. Mamoru sure didn't have it easy either...

But then a worrying thought crossed her mind, and she frowned.

"You didn't show that thing to the kid who gave you the toy, did you?"

He suddenly got angry.

"Why not? I was younger than him when I killed my first youma."

His anger kept on for a moment, only to melt into sadness.

"Aw, that was horrible... I found a huge stag beetle youma in the woods, and I was so excited! 'Dymion, Nephrite, Zoisite, Kunzite, look what I have! A forest sprite! Look what it can do! Pow! Pow! Isn't it so cool? Can I keep it? Oh please, please...'

They forced me to destroy it, and it yelled in pain because it was so strong and I was so clumsy with my spells. I cried all day over it. Nephrite is still making fun of me for it."

"Oh, _Jadeite_", said Rei. She knew stag beetle youmas, they were enormous, armed, clever, and so ugly they would freeze everyone's blood, especially when stomping around a little Shitennou-in-training. But she could also picture a little boy, his blue eyes shining with wild joy while he was making the youma charge thin air to impress his friends.

"And who in his right mind sets up a kid against a wild youma?"

"_Someone_ who wants to make absolutely certain he'd never have to do it again", grumbled Jadeite.

"Ah. A certain name springs to mind," said Rei who didn't want to spoil the meal with speaking out that name.

Jadeite grinned. "Didn't work though. It just made me learn to hide them better. Four weeks later, I could alread keep five spider youmas in an egg-remorph spell hidden in my pockets. You wouldn't believe the fuss when they hatched and escaped at night while I was sleeping and the spell weakened."

"You're bloody mad", she said, but she couldn't suppress a giggle.

He sighed.

"Why do we kill youmas, Mars?" he asked, nudging the plastic claws of the toy monster as it charged his finger. "They're beautiful. They're easy to control. We wouldn't have to destroy them."

So innocent that he even loves youmas, thought Rei. His eyes are so soft when he handles them... no wonder he was always fuming when we destroyed his little demonic friends in the Dark Kingdom time...

But still, they were youmas, they attacked humans, she still had the scars to prove it, and she was not going to have them defended at this place.

"Youmas are destructive spirits. They do all kind of harm to humans. You know that."

"But they don't know they're doing something wrong. It's not their fault. Why is everything about humans? Youmas need to be there as well. They are a part of the world."

"So is fire, and still I wouldn't want it to burn down my home."

"But you house it in your shrine."

Involuntarily, Rei had to laugh. Who would have guessed the boy was good for in-depth discussions?

"My goodness, are you stubborn. You know the difference between fire and youma, Jadeite."

He grinned.

"Yeah, you can handle the one, and I can handle the other."

Rei laughed, and she just couldn't resist flicking a little flame out of the tip of her finger and thrusting it at the little thing. She laughed even more when the youma toy was irritated by it, hopped onto Jadeite's shoulder and hissed at her.

A malicious smile crept over Jadeite's face.

"Someone is feeling pretty bold in here. Someone is challenging us with fire, can you believe that?" he said to his youma and lowered his head to his fighting stance. "Now what do we know helps against fire?"

And he grabbed the bottle of water on the table and lept to his feet. Before Rei knew what happened, he stood next ot her, holding the bottle over her head.

"Jadeite!" called Rei. "You're not going to!"

He just laughed and poured the water over her head.

"Oh, no!" shrieked Rei. "Stop it! Oh, you are so going to regret this!"

First, she just shoved him away, but when it didn't help, she lept to her feet and shoved harder. With one bad hand, and the other one holding the bottle, she at least managed to push him back a step and tried to jump out of his reach.

He just grinned and held up the bottle.

"Think you can run from me? I have a distance weapon and you don't!" And he thrust some more splashes of water in her direction.

Damned, he was right. She could do nothing on a distance. She needed to grab him, maybe she could borrow some of his powers again. So she tried to catch him. Even with the room being so small and Jadeite not in his best form, he was impossible to get a hold of. He just always slipped through her grip, or tore free.

It was a bit frustrating, but still, it was fun, and they laughed a lot while knocking down almost everything in the room in their pursue.

"Ouch!" cried Rei suddenly as something poked her calves. She looked down, it was the little youma that used its useless little plastic claws to attack her ferociously.

He wouldn't dare to send this thing after her...?

And suddenly she knew how to get at Jadeite. She quickly grabbed the little youma off the floor, held the squirming thing in one hand, and held up a ban paper in her other.

"No!" called Jadeite alarmed and jumped at her. Rei flung the paper right into his face, and to her surprise, he yelled. His connection to the youma seemed to make him vulnerable to things that hurt youmas too.

"This is what you get for setting up a youma against me!" she grinned.

The next moment, he was on her, knocking her down and and tearing the youma out of her grip.

"Ouch, that hurts!" complained Rei when sharp edges of the little monster left scratch marks on her hands.

"If you're such a sissy, then don't mess with youmas", hissed Jadeite and pinned her to the floor. In the very last moment, she managed to break free, and tried to wrestle him down, but it was impossible, she just ended up on the ground even faster than before.

This time, he had her. Rei didn't want to believe it that he could hold her down, lightweight and half-handed that he was. But she couldn't get free. This bit of a boy had way more power than was good for him! Damn Shitennou power!

But right, what about his powers? Could she borrow them? She had done it before, although she had no idea how. She just had to try and hope for the best. There was certainly some energy she felt everywhere their bodies touched.

"Please don't get this the wrong way, Mars", said Jadeite. "But that was embarassing. Who is the jerk who trains your fighting skills?"

The power drain seemed to work, Rei felt stronger, lighter, she just needed a bit more time.

"Luna trained us", she said.

"What, the little brat that whacked Kunzite?"

Rei grinned. "Exactly. But we didn't really learn how to fight. The lessons from Luna were mostly about training our mind. And I skipped lots of them anyway."

Jadeite shook his head. "And what did you learn since those days? Anything at all?"

Rei grinned some more. She felt so energetic now that she thought she's be able to fly.

"I learned some cool trick lately", she said. "Wanna see?"

And with a strength she had never felt before, she shook him off, lept to her feet and attacked. He was shocked, he automatically fought back, but her Senshi instincts had kicked in, and with every second, she got stronger, and he got weaker. He blocked each of her attacks, but he got slower, and within less time than she had thought, she was able to bring him down to the floor and sit on him.

She couldn't believe it - she had brought down Jadeite, on her own, in a mere human form, something she hadn't even been able to do as a Senshi when she had Jupiter with her. She laughed and brought her face close to his.

"Don't get this wrong, boy, but are you really in a postiion to tell me about embarassment?"

He still tried to break free, and she wondered if kissing him would make him struggle more - or less... and which one she'd like better...

She giggled. She still drew energy off him, she felt it bubble through her body like champaigne, colder than her Senshi energy had been, but almost as strong, and suddenly she thought she might even do some Senshi magic. There was an awful lot of energy collecting up in her hand, maybe the sight of a little fireball would teach the boy some manners.

"And now tell me you won't ever spill water over me again!" she demanded and brought her hand next to her head, so that Jadeite could have a good look.

His reaction was remarkable. His whole body went tense, his face pale, with eyes wide open.

"Mars!" he gasped. "Don't move!"

Rei thought it was funny, but then she thought something was also very wrong. She shot a short glance to her hand and was shocked to see the energy building up. It wasn't fire. It was a Shitennou's attack. Pink and bright, bobbing around between her fingers, and she still built up more power, and she had no idea what to do with it.

"Jadeite, I can't stop it! What am I going to do?"

"Don't move! Just hold it together with your fingertips. I'll take over, just a second."

Rei tried, but she felt her fingers go numb. This was just too much energy, and it still built up more power! She couldn't stop draining Jadeite and drawing his energy towards herself, and he was unable to free his arms if she wasn't allowed to move.

The pressure onto her fingers became pain, and then too much pain, and then she couldn't move her hand any more at all.

"I can't ..."

"NOW!" yelled Jadeite, and the little youma jumped out of nowhere right into her hand, in the very moment that she couldn't hold the energy any longer.

Rei saw a blinding flash of light, heard the youma yell in pain and felt Jadeite push her away, throwing himself over her and materializing his cloak just in time to shield them from all the little sharp shreds that flew around when the toy monster exploded.

***


	9. Chapter 9 Promised

The first thing that Rei saw when she opened her eyes again was Jadeite's eyes.

They were cold and sharp and only by this contrast Rei realized how warm and soft his gaze had become over the last weeks.

They still had his short cloak pulled over their heads. Jadeite hadn't been fully protected, she saw some blood trickling through his hair. She felt his weight on her, and the impact of the explosion at the parts that hadn't been covered by Jadeite or his cloak. The energy she had felt had mostly gone into the youma, she only felt some last traces of it.

She had stolen his energy, almost blasted it into his face, destroyed his youma - and he had protected her without thinking.

"Thanks", she muttered.

He just grunted and with some effort, pulled himself up, away from Rei, and stumbled to a sitting cushion on floor, upon which he heavily dropped. Seeing him in his black uniform again, pink studs and golden embellishments glittering, hunched from exhaustion and being unmistakeably angry, was not a pleasant sight.

"Are you alright, Jadeite?" said Rei, sitting up.

He didn't answer, but took off a glove and started to pull out small sharp splinters of plastic out of his hand with his teeth and spat them into the debris of the room. Finally, he shot her a sharp glance.

"I can't believe we destroyed the little youma", hissed Jadeite. "What the hell did you do?"

"I borrowed your magic", said Rei meekly.

"You almost killed us!"

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know it would be dangerous. l just wanted to even out the fight."

"How come you can do that?"

"I don't know. I didn't even know such a thing is possible. I realized by chance that I can borrow your powers. And then I couldn't stop it." And you couldn't stop it either, she thought, but didn't say it aloud. "This is... unusual? I mean, I do have a magical talent. I just don't have a lot of magic at hand lately. Maybe I'm driven to it?"

"This is more than unusual, it's impossible. You shouldn't be able to strip me of my powers. And above all, you shouldn't be able to do it so easily. It's not something that one does out of instinct, it's a high-level spell. We Shitennou can do it to each other, it's a cool way to power up someone in battle. But it took us a lot of training, and a lot of getting used to."

"Then we must have done it before", said Rei. "It's the only conclusion I see."

Jadeite frowned. "How? Back then, I could only have met you being on duty, how could I have given me into your hands? It's not possible."

"Got a better idea?"

"None that you would care to hear. Whatever. We can't remember it, so guessing is useless. But we need to do something about it."

He sighed and gave her a stern look.

"I will have to teach you how to throw a decent energy beam, one that doesn't explode into my face. If I need to be humiliated by you, I want to be humiliated in style."

It took Rei several seconds to comprehend what he had just said. She couldn't help the big grin on her face.

"Really?" she asked, and he nodded grimly.

"Wow, you think I can... learn that? And how about the big energy ball, can I learn that too?"

"I said I would teach you the beam. If you want to learn it all, you need to apply to Prince Endymion for a full time Guardian position."

"But can you show me that sparkly little spheric blast you do? That's really nice you know."

"Sure. Five years of daily training and we'll talk about it again. You should worry more about your one-to-one combat skills. Come on, I am half dead and you still need magic to bring me down? And you are as slow as the continental drift. You can't be serious."

"I was faster when I was transformed."

"You're not going to transform any more. That's no excuse. The next time I pour a bottle of water over you, I want to see some real effort."

"Wha...? You're not..."

"I'm your combat coach now. From now on, I will charge you until you can defeat me."

Rei couldn't believe it. The nerve he had! "What? I didn't say I agree to let you teach me! Like hell will I let you charge me all the time!"

"You will. What are you going to do next time you strip me and build up a magic overload?"

Rei sunk her head. "Maybe I won't do that again. How about that?"

"You're still a Guardian. You will want to fight if Earth is in danger, and now you know how to power yourself up with magic. Think you can ignore that? There's no going back now. We just need to see that we're prepared."

"We?" asked Rei. "Why are you so keen on this?"

With a very Nephrite-like yell of anger, he hit the floor with his good fist.

"Because I was almost killed by my own magic! Because I have never seen anyone make such a mess out of a simple house youma. Have you got any idea how pathetic this is? I'm a fifth level enchanter and lose control over my powers because a girl can't keep her fingers to herself?"

"Fifth level enchanter at your age? Impressive," said a deep voice from the door. They hadn't heard the kannushi coming. Rei's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, I'm really good," grumbled Jadeite, not looking up.

"And another Guardian even. Shitennou?"

"Yes."

Jadeite was in full uniform, that couldn't be denied. Still, Rei was shocked that the priest recognized what it meant. And what did he mean by "another"? Had he listened to their whole conversation? If only he had yelled. She knew the priest. He only was calm and unemotional in shock, and she felt terribly ashamed she was the reason for this, and also frightened of what he'd do to people who wrecked the house - throw them out maybe?

"Now, Jadeite, that is a pleasant surprise, and I assure you you are more than welcome in my house, in whatever form you may choose. I hope you don't mind that I was wondering what is going on in here. I am not one to nose around young people's private entertainment. But I couldn't help realizing a certain disturbance coming from this room."

Jadeite lept to his feet.

"I'm really sorry! It was entirely my fault! I'm terribly sorry..."

Rei didn't particularily like his "I'm really sorry"-routine that came with the most annoying display of innocence and guilt. But for now, she was glad he did the talking, and she only had to mumble her apologies along. A quick glance over the wrecked room made her blush deeply, and there was a trace of blood over Jadeite's face that she hadn't even considered taking care of. That was most unresponsible, and nothing she could be proud of. Apologies were certainly in place, if Jadeite was good at them, all the better.

The priest was visibly softened by Jadeite's repent.

"Now, while I am far from interfering with Guardian business, I would truely appreciate if it wouldn't take place in the house, if possible. May I assume you two will clean up this room? Fine.

Rei?"

"Yes?"

"Did you already talk to the young man about the little discussion we've had?"

"Not yet."

"I still think it's worth considering, so please give the idea some thought."

"I do."

"Very well. I will leave you to your work then. And Rei?"

"Yes?"

"I would have thought you remembered how to destroy a youma."

Rei blushed even more and mumbled another apology.

xxxxx

"You bring a youma in here and I get the blame."

Rei couldn't help feeling grumpy while they tried to clean up the worst mess in Jadeite's room. Jadeite had insisted to help, although he was very tired, and Rei had accepted, just to get a cheap revenge seeing him struggle.

"Well, I didn't blast it into eternity with an energy overload," grinned Jadeite. Mean little bugger, thought Rei, first getting me in trouble and then making fun of me. "And I apologized properly", he added.

"That wasn't properly, that was totally exaggerated!"

"But it worked."

"Oh no! Stop, Jadeite, don't come here. Everything is full of broken glass! The lamps have shattered! Even the bed is full of glass! And the floor! You can't sleep here. And I can't ask for another guest room to wreck. You'll have to sleep in my room."

"I can sleep outside. It's not cold."

"It'll rain soon."

"No problem. I am outside at every weather. I wouldn't even dream of asking Kunzite if I could skip nightwatches because they happen to be inconvenient."

"But not in this state. You're sick and tired. You need a rest."

He was going to have a bad night, she could see it in the blurriness that had taken over his movements.

"You sure about this, Mars?"

"You're not going to come up with a youma twice a day, Jadeite, right?"

"You're not going to touch me? You're not going to strip me twice a day?"

Why would he ask a thing like that, looking like a scared kid? What was he thinking of her?

"Don't be silly. Think I'll want my room to look like this?"

"Okay then... just one thing, Mars... we shouldn't tell the others about this ability of yours before we have it under control. I know you have to report to Venus, and I must let the Master know. But we should give it a bit more time. Just in case they don't want to let us try again."

Rei swept everything that littered the table into a wastebag.

"You mean, because this is so dangerous and insane and going to scare the hell out of everyone?"

"Something like that, yeah."

Rei tossed the wastebag into a corner where plastic bags were starting to build up.

"Sounds reasonable enough. And, Jadeite, no mentioning of you sleeping in my room to anyone, ever, or I will scare the hell out of _you_!"

She wondered if she didn't already. He nodded a bit too fast.

xxxxx

The plan of giving Jadeite a comfortable night while Rei could keep an eye on him had an unforsaken flaw: None of them was going to sleep at all.

Jadeite tossed himself from one side to the other on his guest futon. And Rei was wide awake, high on excitement from the day.

She still didn't know how she had done it, sucking the magic out of Jadeite, but it had been so easy! And he hadn't resisted in the least - could it be he couldn't feel this kind of thing? But he hated to lose power, why hadn't he interfered?

And why was he so eager to teach her how to handle his power? She would have to strip him again to learn that, and he said it would be humiliating for him. No, he had said 'if I need to be humiliated...' - need to? He certainly didn't need it. So what was it? Why did he accept it without a doubt that she would do it again? Needed to do it again? Yes, he was right, she needed it.

Because it had been so good... so much power... he was right, she would want that again, for battle at least, or just to find out what she could do with it. She wouldn't do this against his resistance, of course, he totally misjudged her on this, but he didn't resist at all. And he would teach her how to use it, how to control it, and give it to her when she needed it.

She would be able to fight again, she wouldn't have to stand aside and leave it all to Kunzite and the guys. That was just unbelievable! She wondered if she would be able to transform to Sailor Mars if she only had enough energy. After all, Ami had been able to transform on Dark Energy. OK, she had fallen under Kunzite's control as well, but could Jadeite do the same to her? He wasn't exactly a dominant character, and with his powers in her, she hadn't felt the slightest urge to follow any orders of the boy. On the contrary, she had just been about to bully him...

You're not going to strip me twice a day?

"Jadeite?"

"Hm?"

"I can't sleep. Can we talk?"

"Sure."

Rei turned on a small light on her night stand and sat on the floor next to Jadeite. He watched her nervously, lying on his side, in his black uniform shirt and trousers again, only this time rematerialized in perfect condition, instead the crudely mended rags he had worn on the first days. She remembered that Ami had said it'd weaken the Shitennou to remove clothes, and wondered if Jadeite had kept on the basics for this reason. In the dim light of the lamp, he looked pale.

Rei wondered how to start, but didn't know how to and ended up just speaking out what was on her mind.

"Did it hurt when I stripped you?"

"No... that's the problem, you know."

"Why?"

"It's like bleeding. You only realize you've lost too much when it's too late."

"Too late? It's dangerous then? What happens if you lose all your magic powers?"

"I fall back to human, I might even lose consciousness."

"That's not dangerous."

"It's about the worst that can happen in battle. The power strip is a battle spell."

"So maybe in the past, we have fought together."

"I don't know... "

"How long will it take you to replace what you lost today?"

He sneered. "I don't know... I have never had to do that. When we strip each other, we never keep the power we take. We take it, and give it back again, and that gives the power so much extra impact that we all end up stronger than before without one of us losing anything to anyone else. It's like building up pressure.

We have tried to concentrate powers in one person, like you Senshi did with Sailor Moon, but it's too much. Kunzite can take two of us, but you wouldn't want to be on the same planet when he's pumped like that. We won't allow him to take that much any more."

"So with the other Shitennou, you can allow how much they take?"

"Yes. I have never been stripped against my will before."

Rei suddenly felt a hole open in her stomach.

"Against your will? I did... ? But you didn't resist at all!"

"At first, I didn't know what was going on... and then... Mars, I don't want to be in the middle of breaking a high-level spell that can mess up my magical ability. Resistance was not an option."

"Oh, Jadeite, I'm so sorry! I didn't know..."

"I know you didn't know what you were doing, Mars. I know that. It's just..."

"Yes?"

"It's just never happened to me. I wonder... what if we can't stop it? What will be left of me if you take it all away from me? What if there is... a point of no return?"

"Jadeite! How can you say that! If this is what you think, then why can you offer to train me doing this! I'd rather never touch you again in my life than risk destroying anything that's so important to you!"

"I'm not a coward, Mars. This is a problem we have to deal with. You need to learn, and you only can learn from me."

"But I don't want you to come to harm! I don't want to take anything away if that could hurt you!"

"That's why we will have to learn how to do it right. I don't want to have you run around with a power like that and no clue of how to use it."

"Why are you so certain I will take your power again?"

"Because you can."

That disturbed her. The calm, finite tone, the absence of accusation. She wanted to protest, but she wasn't so certain at all... But still, how could he talk like that?

"So that's the kind of person you think I am?" she asked.

He didn't want to discuss this.

"Look, Mars... that kind of talk... what good does it do? I am just trying to make this as easy as possible for both of us."

"So that if I take you against your will again, I would at least have practise? What's wrong with you?"

That made him laugh.

"Too good for this world?"

"Or maybe too stupid?" Rei offered, who didn't like it at all that he was making fun of her at such a topic.

He smiled. "It just makes life so much easier if I only concentrate on what's important. You don't want to become a Shitennou if comfort is your priority. Or, in the immortal words of Kunzite: 'If we make you one of us, against all better judgement, and ten years under age, don't you ever complain. About anything.'. Well, never ignore a wise man's advice."

He laughed again. He wasn't making fun of her, he was really amused.

"And you think that's funny?"

"Yeah, because he has totally wasted his breath. Kunzite talks too much. I wasn't going to complain at all. There is only one thing in my life that I ever wanted, and that was being a Shitennou. I love fighting and magic way too much, but I also love the Master and I love every one of the guys. What better could I do with my life than shield them? It was so hard to be accepted into the Shitennou, but once I was there, what else in life could I ever complain about?"

"Is that why Kunzite has dropped you here? To give you a taste of how it would be like if he took that away from you?"

"Probably."

"Could he do that? Take being a Shitennou away from you?"

"Yes. He could. If the Master allows it. If the Master thinks I am useless, a danger. I would understand. A Shitennou holds too much power to be allowed to run wild."

"For heaven's sake, Jadeite, you aren't running wild. You just..."

"Don't get a grip? Can't forget?"

"Oh, Jadeite... don't talk like this... such things need time..."

He sat up and his eyes burnt dark in his pale face when he looked at her.

"If he does that... if they... Mars, if I lose the Shitennou life, I want you to take as much of my powers as you can hold safely. I don't want this part of me to be lost. Do you promise me that?"

Rei suddenly felt tears coming up.

"Jadeite..."

"Mars, promise me!"

Rei took a breath and blinked away the tears.

"I promise. I will hold your powers if you can't any more. I swear."

"Thanks. It really means a lot to me."

"In that case... Jadeite, shouldn't we start to train me now? I know I said I wouldn't drain you again tonight, but we don't know how much time we'll have."

He grinned.

"This is just an excuse to kiss me, right?"

Rei brought his face very close to his and whispered: "I am sorry, boy, but I don't hate you enough to do that to you right now."

She was amused about the mixture of fear, anticipation and relief on his face, but even more worried about his acceptance that made him hold her gaze and smile.

All his emotions are always there in the open, she thought, he has no protection, no defense, and a way of bringing out the worst in his counterparts, spending his life among guys who aren't very gentle on their best of days, and still he is so trusting.

This has to be the most stupid boy on earth.

And he was even begging her to take advantage of that. Well, if he insisted... she had promised, after all...

She hurriedly got up and grinned down on him.

"Now, let's go find a place we can wreck!"


	10. Chapter 10 Enchanted

She later wouldn't be able to say which parts of that night had been a dream and which real.

There had been darkness, black mountains, and a sky as black as she had never seen with stars so numerous and bright that her heart hurt from looking at them. There had been wind, strong wind, and the earth had been furious with fire not burning far underneath thir feet. And there had been magic, oh yes. And a boy who liked magic way too much.

He held out his hands to his sides, and huge bolts of energy emerged from the ground, burying themselves in his fingertips. He laughed so loud that Rei could hear him easily over the wind, the light from the magical energy illuminating his face, sparkling on his uniform, and the wind blew his hair into his face and almost tore away his coat.

A flutter of silk, and they were at a quieter place. Even darker, with the same black mountains surrounding them, and the earth still restless under her feet, but less windy.

"Sorry about the raw energies around the place, Mars!" Although Jadeite was standing next to her, she could barely see more of him than the starshine reflecting off his uniform. He grinned, she could hear it in his voice. "Quick and dirty reload, but you said we have little time! You like fire, right?"

"Is this place safe?" Rei had never been at a place that was more disorienting, her senses were confused by the overwhelming presence of fire and what Jadeite had called raw energy. At home, in the shrine, she would have called it damage, uproar, evil... but here, in the homland of uproar, that seemed to be pointless. The mountains and their burning intestines certainly weren't fitting any human category.

"I should be quite impressed if you'd be able to blow it up, if that's what you're worried about," chuckled Jadeite. His cheerfulness made Rei nervous, but she shook it off.

This had been her wish, after all. Noone had said it'd be safe.

"Can we start?" she asked.

Instead of an answer, two arms folded around her from behind her. Rei startled, he had moved so quickly and quietly. Now that she couldn't see how young he was any more, all she could make out was that he was a bit bigger than her, his grip strong and his voice calm. He wasn't scared at all. That was good, because she suddenly was. This energy felt so different from what he had given her the last time. Raw energy, indeed. Then she put her hands on his. She didn't even have to try to remember how this energy thing was done, she was already receiving something. It happened all by itself.

After a short moment, Jadeite released his grip and took a step back. The flow of magic would decrease, but not entirely stop.

"This is easy," she heard Jadeite's voice from behind her. "Hold up your hands. Remember how you built up energy in your hand. You will do the same again this time, with both hands. Build up pressure, and hold it. It should feel easy and natural. If you feel you have to force it, you are doing it wrong."

Rei tried. A faint light shimmered between her fingers, but that was all. Suddenly she felt his hands on her arms, with his bad hand feeling a bit heavier.

"You can take a bit more," he said. His voice was very close now. Rei didn't know how, but the light in her hands gained strength. Now she could feel it press against her fingers, like it had done earlier today, only not so vicious.

"Very good. Hold it. Now is the time to find your target. Drop the will to achieve it. Drop the will to hit it. Just invite the target into your mind. Allow it to become a part of you. And now release."

Her fingers got somehow entangled in the energy she sent off, and the result was a horribly wobbly jolt of light, she swore it was even lumpy. But she had done it! Magic had left her hands!

"Jadeite, it works!"

"Of course it works! Let's do it again."

They increased the amount of energy she'd shoot, and the release was still giving Rei trouble, and when she thought she had it, Jadeite suddenly put his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and pressed her against him.

"Now let's see how much you can take", he purred into her ear. "Because the next lesson will be combat!"

She struggled against him in vain, wondering if she should kick him, but she didn't really want to break the connection that filled her with so much power, she only hated the rudeness.

And just as sudden as he had snatched her, he let her go and vanished into the dark.

"I'm here! Come on, shoot me!"

She saw a glowing pink light in a distance, illuminating his face, hair, and shoulders, and a malicious smile. She frowned, and then yelled when he thrust a little pink ball of energy to her feet. A pink halo emerged and stung like needles where it hit her.

"Stop it, you ass!" she yelled and shielded her face with her arm.

"Defend yourself!" he demanded and built up energy for the next attack.

It took Rei another near hit at her feet before she was angry enough to lift her hands and build up energy for a shot.

The pink light in his hands should have made it easy to target him, but the dark made it hard to judge distances, and the place got more disorienting once she and Jadeite started moving. That was, she jumped out of his attacks, and he teleported around in the dark, attacking and yelling at her from all direcions. He never directly hit her, but aimed so close it scared her. And it hurt.

Rei ended up firing blindly into the dark, with no hope of ever hitting him, and him turning up just everywhere. It got harder and harder to build up enough energy each time now, while he didn't seem to tire at all. That'd teach her to be out at night with a boy who loved magic and fighting way too much.

Suddenly, all was dark and silent. Rei nervously eyed around, breathless, head spinning, floor wobbling. But her Senshi instincts where still there, and her ability to read energy signatures, and this time he was close, she sensed his aura before she could see him, and she took herself a bit more time to collect power, aim, and release. A shot in the dark. A direct hit. Yes!

He caught it with both hands, but one of his hands trembled, and Rei felt deeply satisfied to blast every last ounce of magic into him she could still come up with. he caught everything, but with discomfort. That was good enough for Rei.

She fell to her knees when she was finished. She was feeling so heavy and empty that it was too much an effort to lift her face to Jadeite. She wouldn't have seen him anyway, being blinded by the light of her beam. She heard him laugh.

"For the first time, you did pretty well, not being used to it."

More she didn't remember. The rest was black.

xxxxx

"Morning! Are you still in bed? Come on, come on, we have a combat training before you go to school!"

Rei wasn't exactly a morning person, and even less after a night as short as this one, and with all her body aching, and with an overly cheerful boy in her room.

"Jadeite, shut up, or I am going to strangle you!"

"Ah, that's the spirit! Here, I picked up some coffee on the way! Man, you missed a great run this morning! Me and Kumada-san saw a beautiful sunrise on the beach!"

"What? Since when do you go running with Yuichiro?" she asked and took the coffee from his hand.

Jadeite grinned. "For more than a week. Unlike some people, I keep myself in shape."

Yuichiro was a volunteer at the shrine who freely admitted that he only came there to see Rei, an attitude which she profoundly and deeply detested, along with the rest of his personality, and she spent as little time in his presence as possible. Of course the sight of Jadeite would have to torment him with utter jealousy. That was perfect. He probably just made sports with Jadeite to find out what was going on between them. And Jadeite? Could teleport around the world and melted down when someone took him to the beach. Silly boy. Rei sighed.

Rei sat up, briefly wondering if she looked as bad as she felt. She realized she still wore the clothes she had put on for their night trip. She better had, if Jadeite had had to bring her to bed. Had she really fainted? Had she really been foolish enough to allow him to fill her with raw energy?

"Are you saying anything's wrong with my shape?" she grumbled, inhaling the wonderful smell of coffee that promised to clear her mind, and gave Jadeite a reproachful look. Only to see that he was shamelessly rummaging through the chest that contained her clothes. Instantly, she was fully awake.

"Hey!" she yelled. "What do you think you're doing there!"

He had found a pair of sports pants, underwear and a t-shirt and tossed them onto her legs.

"Put those on and come outside. First challenge in fifteen minutes."

"You are not going to pick clothes for me. I am old enough to do that myself. And don't you dare searching through my stuff again."

"Hai. If you get up earlier tomorrow, you can do it yourself."

"Forget it. I need my sleep for my sanity. I am not going to get up for a stupid fight that early in the morning."

He leaned over her, one knee on her matress, and smirked.

"I can challenge you in bed, if that's what you want."

She wanted to yell at him again, but she had seen the tiny spark of insecurity in his eyes.

"Big words", she sneered. "From a boy who is even afraid of the touch of my hand."

She tried to prove her point by reaching for his chin, and she was right. He evaded her touch with an annoyed turn of his head.

"Don't do that if you don't mean it!" he hissed.

Okay now, that was far enough. She wouldn't have such an attitude. No use letting him behave like he owned the place.

"Jadeite, we need to talk. Come sit with me," she said and patted her mattress.

With some reluctance, he sat down.

"Now give me your hand." And when he hesitated, she added: "I mean it."

He gave her his hand and looked at her questioningly. All his energy and attitude were gone as if someone had turned a switch, he suddenly was A Good Boy again. And very, very cautious.

Rei told herself not to pull energy out of him, just letting pass what wanted to pass on its own. She would be gentle with him.

"Jadeite", she said friendly but firm. "There are some things that I need to make clear to you. Some things will have happened the first and the last time today.

First and last time you are in my bed. Okay?"

"Hai."

He nodded, casting his eyes down.

"First and last time you go through my things, especially my clothes. First and last time you have your hands in my underwear."

"Hai."

She smiled, but he didn't return the smile. His pointed chin and his big soft eyes made him look so innocent and sweet that Rei had to remind herself to go on.

"Also, first and last time you threaten me. If I agree to be trained by you I do not automatically give you permission to order me around all the time. I might join a lesson, or not, that is up to me.

You're not only my guest, you are also in my custody and care. I am responsible for your well-being. Everything else is secondary. Do you understand?"

"Hai. I'm very sorry, Mars."

"It's okay, Jadeite. I invited you in my room, and I should have forseen that you haven't been to too many girl's rooms before, and wouldn't know the rules. Don't worry about it. I should have told you these things in advance."

She squeezed his hand, and then let go of it. Jadeite took it back and hid it under his other hand.

"If you would please wait outside now, I have to change, or I will be late for combat training. And thank you for the coffee, I really needed it."

He apologized again and left hurriedly.

She saw him sitting motionless on a bench in the yard, looking down to the floor, waiting for her, and thought she might have overdone it. She sighed. She really didn't have a clue about how to shove a guy out of bed, or how to tell them she was not another bloke. That weren't problems she'd ever had before.

Seriously, she thought, has anyone ever taken themselves the time to tell him about the little differences between boys and girls? Has he ever seen a girl that wasn't either a Queen or a Princess or kicking him into the next wall and throwing magic attacks at him? Does he know anything about life?

To her surprise, he acted almost normal when she came out. Almost, because he was a lot nicer than usual. He took her to a gym where he seemed to know everyone, and they did some simple exercises that didn't involve him touching her at all, he walked her to school, making the usual bad jokes, and promised to take care of his room.

"Another round of magic tonight, Mars?" he asked before he left her at the gates of her school.

"Of course. And this time, I am not going to be so gentle. You are going to beg for mercy tonight, boy."

That made him laugh, and he lightly touched her arm before he left.

Only when someone around them gasped at that, she realized that she had just started a whole new generation of annoying rumours. She just suddenly didn't really care any more.

xxxxx

Rei had never had been much out and sitting in a cafe, but recently she had picked up this habit. Later, she would see Usagi, but now, she just needed to be on her own, out of hearshot of the shrine, having time to think...

After spending half my life protecting people against youmas, I find myself having dinner with one of them, and its sneaky little master... and it was even fun. After just coming to terms with not having Senshi powers again, I am into firing energy beams. And it is even more fun.

Am I losing it? What is happening to my life?

Of course, Minako hadn't been no help at all when she had heard about the priest situation. "I told you, Rei, you should have thrown him out long before. The longer you keep him, the worse it will get. Now even the kannushi wants to burden him on you forever, and I bet you don't want to disappoint him, right? Oh come on Rei, what does it take for you to wake up?"

She hadn't even dared to tell her about the youma, or her ability to take Jadeite's magical powers. Just as she hadn't told her about Jadeite being naked when he had touched her, or that she had encouraged him to bring Beryl back, or that he had almost died in her arms... she hadn't told any of the others either. They knew he walked her home from school, but not that they made homework together, had dinner together, often had work at the shrine together, and that he trained her fighting skills... that she could produce a straight power beam without effort, even if her aim was still a disgrace...

She was starting to keep a lot of things secret from her friends... why was she so scared they wouldn't understand? She didn't regret these things, she was even kind of proud she could handle all the distress that came with the boy. So why hide it? She didn't understand herself...

"Can I help you?" asked a deep voice, and Rei stared into a big smile. He was a tall guy, probably European, good-looking, nice - and blond... very blond... and from what she could see, a coat of fine white hair covered his skin, followed the lines of his neck... It took her a moment to realize that she must have stared at this guy forever if he would actually come over to talk to her. Her mind had been miles away, now since when did her eyes seek out guys when she was not paying attention?

"I am sorry..." she muttered, her cheeks blushing.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he smiled, clearly returning the interest she had seemingly taken in him.

Get out of your clothes and let me touch every hair on your body, whispered a voice in the far back of her head, and she felt a rush of heat rising through her body.

"No... sorry... I'm very sorry... it's a mistake... I... I just... well, my boyfriend is blond, and I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me... I wasn't paying attention... I am really sorry..."

She just felt worse every second.

"No problem", said the guy and laughed. He really was nice. "My mistake. Sorry I bothered you."

Rei stuttered something, took her handbag and left. Once outside, she broke into a run, and ran until she was totally breathless. She had to stop and pant, as embarassed as never before in her whole life.

He is _not_ my boyfriend, thought Rei and felt so sick she thought she'd have to throw up. _He is not my boyfriend!_ He is not even a friend! I don't even like him! He's creepy! He's crazy! I am not going to let him take over my life! I'd rather die!

It was when she was starting to get clearer in the head again that she knew what she'd have to do: Make Kunzite take him back. Whatever it'd cost. If anyone deserved having Jadeite around it was him. And if he couldn't handle him, or didn't like him any more than she did, or had a problem being around a guy who had once ran a sword through him, that was just fine with her.

_Because Kunzite, for this, you have to suffer. Death is too good for you! You want mercy? You are going to beg for it!_


	11. Chapter 11 Unforgiven

Rei waited until she thought she had calmed down again, and went straight to Usagi. Usagi had a steadying influence on everyone, and she had information.

"I get the feeling that they don't even think of taking Jadeite back. What am I going to do if Kunzite just finds the situation so convenient and amusing that he decides to leave it this way?"

"Oh, I don't think it's so convenient for him right now. After all, Mamoru has given him leave until he has decided about Jadeite."

"Leave? What kind of leave?"

"Well, I don't know really, being off duty, I guess it's like a holiday or so. It's a risk because the only ones who can really fight at the moment are Mamoru and Nephrite, but Mamoru said, he is willing to take it."

"And where is Kunzite now that he is 'on holiday'?"

"At his house of course. He's got it pretty quiet there at the moment. He was so grumpy since Jadeite is gone that the other Shitennou stopped staying there. Even the patient Zoisite has finally teleported his piano in Mamoru's living-room and has his Chopin marathons there."

"He what?" asked Rei and all her tension released into an unstoppable giggle. So I guess now it's time to interfere, Zoisite? She could totally picture Zoisite playing all day, immersed in music, ignoring everything else, and just every now and then shooting a reproachful look at his Master. She was tempted to ask Usagi how many days of this it had taken until Mamoru had given Kunzite "leave".

Usagi looked at her in surprise. "What is so funny? Yes, Mamoru is a bit jumpy at certain pieces, but it is such a wonderful music. I could listen to it all day. I asked Mamoru if we could spend more time at his place so I could listen to Zoisite, but he just says he can hear it wherever he goes anyway, and then he insists we go to some really loud and exciting places. We have lots of fun!"

"That's wonderful, Usagi", said Rei with a grin so big it almost hurt her cheeks. "You really deserve to spend some time with him after you have helped so much with his Shitennou problems."

And because she just felt like paying Mamoru back, she added: "You could ask Zoisite for a CD if you want to hear more of him. Jadeite has one, it's really good."

"Oh, Rei, what a wonderful idea!"

Rei asked Usagi for the directions to Kunzite's house. Usagi wanted to come, but Rei reminded her of how much Mamoru wanted to keep out of this.

"But I am not Mamoru", said Usagi and pouted.

She still does it, thought Rei and smiled. She'll still pout when she is a hundred years old. She would tell Mamoru everything, she always did, that was why Rei didn't want her to come. If she wanted to get anything useful out of Kunzite, she had to go alone.

"I don't know, Rei... maybe you should leave him alone... maybe he needs some time to think..."

"Usagi, it's okay, I just want to talk to him."

"You're not going to yell at him, Rei, right? Promise!"

"Of course not. I will be very nice and polite. I am not going to start a fight. After all, there is nothing that I want more than get rid of Jadeite before it's too late."

xxxxx

The house was nothing special from outside, but the garden was amazing. Huge, for a town house in Tokyo, full of old majestic trees, ample masses of flowers in all colors and shapes, planted everywhere. White and pink rose bushes larger than Rei were also there in great supply, cleverly planted so they'd shield the house from curious gazes.

Rei walked through the garden, lost in the gorgeous sights. She only realized the man in the deck chair under a tree when she almost ran over him.

She gazed at him in surprise. So this was Kunzite's human form? His hair was shorter, falling into his face, he wore glasses (she hadn't expected those), and she recognized the grey and gold from his Shitennou uniform in the grey jacket and yellow turtleneck he wore. He looked good, a bit softer than usual, but not one bit less dangerous. He was on the contrary, a lot more disquietening looking so innocent and surprised. A bit too innocent, thought Rei.

He didn't get up from his comfortable position. He just cocked his head to the side.

"To what do I owe the honor of your visit, Mars?" he asked.

"Just dropping by to see how you are doing. I got a bit worried because I hadn't seen you in a while."

That made him smile at last. His human smile was smaller, almost shy, but the familiar smirk was also faintly there, reminding Rei not to be fooled by apparition.

"In that case, come and have a cup of tea with me, Mars", he said and got up from his chair. They walked over to a nice sunny terrace behind the house, with a table and four chairs, and a vase full of sweet smelling white roses on the table.

"Take a seat, I will be right there", he said and vanished in the house.

Rei sat down and listened, but there was nothing than the wind rustling in the trees, muffled traffic noises and a very faint tinkling that indicated that tea was in the making.

She looked around, still captured by the beauty of the garden.

It wasn't long before Kunzite was back, carrying a tray with a teapot, cups, spoons and even cookies. Judging from the sad look of them, he had either stolen them from Nephrite, or the guys were even worse cooks than Ami.

He sat down with her and poured them tea. His movements were slow and concentrated, and a pleasure to watch.

"Milk? Sugar?"

"No thanks... it's Shin, right?"

"No. Wouldn't want to upset him with so many people around the house. This is Cat."

So he has more than one human form? thought Rei.

"You're a man full of surprises", she conceded with a smile.

He smiled back at her over his tea cup, and that alone was a sight worth the whole trip here. Rei usually wasn't easily charmed by a man, but Kunzite was a species of his own, maybe even a universe of his own, with his own laws of nature, and couldn't be compared to any other man Rei knew. If he hadn't just given her the worst five weeks of her life, she would have been thrilled by other things than withstanding the urge to wipe the smile off his face. Of course, if he hadn't just given her the nightmare that Jadeite was, she wouldn't be sitting here in this lovely place of his, thinking about how much this haircut flattered him.

"You like the garden?" asked Cat.

"Oh yes, it's wonderful. I used to do a lot of gardening at the shrine when I was younger. I miss it."

And you wouldn't believe the damage that Jadeite can do to a nice garden with a simple hack, she thought.

"Sad memories?" asked Cat, aware of the shadow that flew over her face.

"Sort of."

They shared another moment of precious peaceful silence.

"So, why are you avoiding me lately, Kunzite?" Rei finally asked.

"I am?" wondered Cat with a mocking smile. "I wasn't aware we have been seeing each other that much that you'd miss me so."

"You know what I mean. You're the only one who hasn't been over to see Jadeite. Wouldn't it be time you two started talking to each other again?"

Slowly, the smile faded from his face.

"Fed up with him already, Mars?"

"No, I actually get used to having him around, especially now that he is able to make himself useful. But, look, you gave him to me to keep him safe, and promised you'd take him back when the danger was over. So why do you still treat him like an outcast now that you have won over the blade monsters?"

"I never said it was the blade monsters that worried me."

"Then what monster is it that worries you? Because I'd like to know who did that to him so I can go and kick some manners into him."

Cat grinned his Cat-with-a-taste-of-Kunzite grin.

"Getting quite fond of him, are we? Feeling sorry for the brave little two-bladed warrior who got himself between too many bigger blades in battle? Do you think he has never bled before, do you think he never hurt and cried before? Do you think he doesn't know what being a Shitennou can take him into? Your sympathy is wasted on him. If I give him a chance, he'll beg to go through the same again. He has. And he will."

Rei stared at him in shock. She felt tears in her eyes, and the calm self-control that she had sworn to keep up with Kunzite was blown away. She lept to her feet. With a cry of fury, she took her tea cup and threw the tea into his face. What would she have given to thrust a fire ball instead!

"Cut it out, Kunzite!" she yelled at him. "You think you can fool me? I descend from a long line of assholes who disguise their feelings with cold and cruel behaviour, so don't you try that cheap trick on me! I can see right through that."

Cat stared at her in disbelief through his tea-speckled glasses, wiping tea from his face with one hand. Rei was glad he wasn't entirely like the real Kunzite who maybe would have tried to run her through with his sword at this point. Rei took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but it was hard. She shot Cat another gaze of contempt.

"Don't talk about him like you owned him, and like you didn't care, you just reveal your insecurity. So you don't trust your emotions, am I right? How come so suddenly? You've never been one to feel ashamed."

"Why would I need to be ashamed of anything?" asked Cat with an unmistakeably Kunzite-like snarl.

"Then why are you acting so guilty?" asked Rei.

"Guilty?" he exclaimed. "I am not acting guilty!"

"It's the only explanation why you'd avoid him. You definitely have guilt written all over your forehead, and I don't care, I don't even want to guess what you could be guilty of, I just don't want to be involved!

Mamoru says you two are to sort it out among yourselves. But Kunzite, if you just delay this to make Jadeite and yourself suffer, I will not be a part of this any longer. Jadeite can move over to Usagi any day, she already promised she'll take good care of him. It was bad enough you used me to help him - but you will not use me to punish him, and not even to punish yourself. If you want me to punish _you_, you just have to ask, and not sit here in your garden and sulk. I am not the nanny in this kindergarten, to run after every little Shitennou who has skimmed his knees or his pride."

This little Shitennou couldn't take it any longer. He lept from his chair and with a flash of golden light, took his Shitennou shape... another human shape... another shape... another monstrous one... and another one... and became Cat again, panting, leaning over with his hands on the table, his eyes cold and furious through his glasses, but his self-control restored.

Rei gave him a malicious smile.

"So, tell me, when will you take Jadeite back?"

He just glared at her.

Soft, almost unhearable, some faint notes drifted through the garden.

Cat jerked back his head and yelled: "Zoisite! Stop it! Don't you dare sneaking up on me! Come here and show yourself if you have to listen to other people's private conversations!"

With a silvery swish and a mild smile, the best teleporter of the Shitennou solidified next to Rei.

"Hello, Zoisite", Rei said, calm and casual, although her heart was still pounding.

"Hello, Mars."

Zoisite's smile got wider and a lot less pleasant when he turned to Cat.

"So, Kunzite", he said, "when will you bring Jadeite back? I was also beginning to wonder, you know."

xxxxx

"When?" asked Cat coolly and straightened. "It's not even certain I will have him back at all."

Zoisite laughed. "Are we back at 'Just because he is so good with magic and so fast with his blades and so faithful and devoted, and so all mine when I melt him down with a smile, I don't have any use for him as a Shitennou'? Kunzite..."

Zoisite reached over with a white-gloved hand, gently touched Cat's chest and returned him in his Shitennou form.

"Stop letting that cold-blooded bastard do the thinking for you", he said. "He's bought you enough time, now you need to return to us, and bring Jadeite back."

The real Kunzite shook off away Zoisite's hand in one fast movement, but he wasn't as angry as Rei had expected. They had sat down around the table again, and Zoisite, when Kunzite didn't have any intent to offer him tea, just materialized a cup and poured himself some, fully aware that Kunzite disapproved of this.

"That's not upon you to decide. The Master has given me free reign in this matter."

"You heard me, Kunzite. Nothing you can say is going to change my mind."

Kunzite gave him a long, calculating stare that Zoisite just returned.

Finally, Kunzite sneered.

"Obviously," he said. "But I haven't heard any clever ideas from you of how to deal with him. He is out of control, and it only got worse all the time. I don't see how I would allow him to get us killed next time he has one of his 'moments'.

The way Jadeite is now, he is of no use for us."

"That's not true!"

"He charged me in the middle of a battle! I had his damn dagger at my throat!"

"I am certain he won't do that again."

"Yes, he will", said Rei.

They both turned to her in astonishment.

"You don't see the problem, do you?"

"Which problem?" demanded Kunzite to know.

"The weight of the world on his shoulders. The end of the world on the tip of his sword. And you between him and his mission."

"Ah..." said Zoisite. "Noone wants to tell me about this. What did you do, Kunzite?"

Kunzite shot him a grim look. "Keep him from selling the last bit of his soul to that witch."

"He took the blow that Jadeite had aimed at Metallia in Endymions body", explained Rei, trying to get it over as dry and simple as possible, but she couldn't help shivering. It could all have ended there, she thought. It could all have been so much less painful...

Zoisite turned to Kunzite, unbelieving. "And you couldn't just block it? A blow from Jadeite?"

"Wouldn't have been enough. Had to stop him dead in his tracks." He smirked. "Maybe I was just curious to see if he would step over my dying body to kill his Master."

"He didn't?"

Kunzite chuckled. "Are you kidding? Of course not. I would have killed him weeks ago if I had ever thought there was no more left of him than just an empty shell. He ran like the devil was after him."

Zoisite shook his head. "Kunzite..."

"What? If I teach someone a lesson, they will remember it."

"Yeah", sighed Rei. "That's the problem." Past and present, she thought. "And how about you, Zoisite?" she asked.

"Me?"

"Jadeite ran away at the mere sight of you. He makes mistakes that almost kill you. You think he can stand being around you all the time, fighting alongside you? How is that supposed to work? From all that he did to any of you in the Dark Kingdom, he blames himself most for your death."

"But he didn't kill me!" wondered Zoisite.

"Right," sneered Kunzite. "It was entirely your own fault that you died a stupid, pointless death."

The tired look that Zoisite shot him told Rei that he heard this often.

"But he..." Rei hesitated. Were these things for everyone's ears? But she had no choice. If she wouldn't settle things with Zoisite and Jadeite, she'd end up with having to keep the boy. She plunged forward. "He says you died because back in the Dark Kingdom... he broke you."

Zoisite quickly looked away. Then, almost a whisper, he sayd: "Yes. He did." He lifted his head and looked at Rei. "But I... broke him first." He took a deep breath. "I have known Jadeite all his life. I helped to train him. I know him inside out. We're close. And still, I forced my will upon him when he was under the curse. I should have known better. I should have known he would never be able to make this choice, that I would only hurt him. But... I just couldn't... give him up... to _her_."

"And why would you? Look what she's done to him!"

"No... she was always gentle with him. The curse wouldn't have hurt him if I hadn't interfered."

"Gentle? Like when she forced Nephrite to kill himself before his eyes? I have seen Jadeite's face on that day. She would have done the same to any of you, including Jadeite, and not felt remorse for a second."

"Yes, and there was no escape for him, so why pretend? The right thing would have been to sooth his doubts and send him back to her after that, so she wouldn't have a reason to test his loyalty. Instead, I tore him in two when I had the chance. I went so hard on him that Kunzite had to interfere."

Kunzite smirked. "That was only necessary because you are always too soft with him. No need to go soft with Jadeite. It'll just scare the hell out of him if you get suddenly serious."

He's doing it again, thought Rei. She smiled knowingly at him, and he shot her an angry look back.

"From what I have seen, Jadeite did exactly what Zoisite wanted", said Rei, "Sooth his doubts, return under Beryls reign, turn his stupid little heart towards her and tell himself what a nice person she was underneath all the cruelty she put him through."

"Yes," sneered Kunzite. "We know what Jadeite is like."

"Yes", said Zoisite sadly. "Because we trained him to be like this. I thought it'd make him useful for us if his hand could be forced easily. I never thought about how vulnerable it would make him. I just assumed he'd never slip out of our hands."

"Oh, Zoisite, stop it!" called Rei and Kunzite simultanously. They shot each other a surprised look.

"An ego as big as the planet, will you be giving yourself credit for the sun rising next or what?" said Rei.

Kunzite laughed. "She is right, Zoiste. It's Jadeite's nature. You can't blame yourself. He had orders to kill the Master slowly, and he did, and you bet he didn't hesitate.

If Jadeite says he is guilty, then I will take his word for it. He let his desire to obey take control over his tiny brain, and he knows he deserves we are mad at him."

"I am not mad at him," said Zoisite. "How could I?"

"You're doing it again", said Kunzite. "You're letting your wish to pet him win over your common sense. He doesn't want forgiveness, Zoisite. He refuses it with all his power. He wants punishment. More than he can take, at least from me. I would really appreciate your help in this matter."

Zoisite shook his head.

"There has to be another way. I will not repeat the mistake to use force on him again."

Kunzite shrugged.

"Then prepare not to see him in a long while. I am not going to have a loose cannon around."

"That is ridiculous!" snapped Zoisite with a lot more venom that Rei had ever expected from him. "I can see him whenever I like, I just need to go there. Who is the one who is not seeing anyone? How much longer do you want to wait until you go out, get a decent apology out of Jadeite and bring him home? My goodness, Kunzite, is that so difficult?"

Kunzite's lips curled in disgust.

"It's going to take more than an excuse before I can stand the sight of him again."

"Kunzite! This is not about you! Jadeite is young and confused, he needs our advice to get through this."

"I am not going to waste my breath on 'advice' for him. Someone decided he is old enough to get a uniform, a dagger and a place in battle. So am I to pretend he is not old enough to face the consequences? His apprentice days are over. If he is still young and confused, it'll hit him full force in the face. Only way to get through to his brain, in my opinion."

Rei let out a deep groan. "I really must stop hanging around you guys before anything you say starts making any sense. Is that all you can come up with?"

"And you have a better idea to bring Jadeite to his senses?" asked Kunzite sarcastically.

"You bet I do, but you are not going to like it. Shouldn't you who know him all his life know how to calm him down? Isn't his sanity a lot more your business than mine? Come on, make an effort, don't leave it all to me."

"Or you will come yelling at me again?" grinned Kunzite.

"I wouldn't rely on it if I was you. As I said, it's not really my job to run after you."

Rei took her handbag and got up.

"Kunzite, I am not going to wait forever until you guys make up your minds. If you wait too long, I might not give you the boy back at all. Because in all honesty, I don't think you deserve him."

"Nani?"

But she didn't respond, or turn back, she just walked away.


	12. Chapter 12 Handed over

_This chapter is not what I had in mind for a solution. I am not happy with it and hope to update it soon with a better version. This version will have to do to finish the story in the meantime. A beta reader would be very welcome!_

She was just around the house and heading for the garden door when she almost got a heart-attack by hearing a movement right behind her and expecting an attack by Kunzite.

A soft, silvery voice said: "Mars, wait. I bring you."

Rei had been teleported before, and with Zoisite it was as bad as with everyone. She was certain that it would have been a lot easier if anyone would care to warn her a second ahead so she could prepare herself.

To her surprise, they didn't come out at the shrine, but in Mamoru's apartment. At least that was what Rei guessed, from the biking gear and random pink things and the huge piano hat were the only personal items in the spacy living-room they arrived in.

There was a monstrous sofa with Usagi and Mamoru sitting on it. Obviously, someone had been very busy on the phone again nosing around in her life, Rei thought and shot Usagi a sharp look.

Mamoru shot up from the sofa monster he had been sitting on, greeting them anxiously.

"Sit down. Tea?"

"Thanks, no. I just had some."

She didn't turn her head to see if Zoisite was smiling.

"How did it go?"

"She wants to keep him", said Zoisite gloomily.

"Zoisite, are you nuts?" called Rei. "I said I will keep him if none of you has got a better idea, and unfortunately, that seems to be the case. I don't want that at all, but I see it happening before my eyes: The chances that Jadeite returns are getting worse by the day."

Mamoru just frowned and looked questioning.

Rei decided to raise the stakes. "The priest of the Hirakawa shrine is interested in training Jadeite as a shinto priest, and I think he should seriously consider it."

"No!" said Mamoru vigorously. "I am not giving him up. He belongs with us."

Rei sighed. "Mamoru, Jadeite might not feel that way. The Jadeite that you knew might be gone. The Dark Kingdom has cracked him."

"No. I don't believe it. I will never believe that. Maybe you don't know how strong his identity as a Shitennou is."

"I have picked up certain hints. But what about the curse? He placed a life-draining stone in you and doesn't even regret it. How can he be your brave little Guardian any more?"

"I never held that against him. Not even in the Dark Kingdom. He knows that. I told him when we were there. I knew if I was mad at him, he'd never get over it. But I am not! None of us is!"

"Jadeite is."

Mamoru shook his head. "What would he have to be mad at himself for? Jadeite is pure. He doesn't know about good or evil. He has only known love and devotion in all of his lives. What could even touch him as long as we hold on to him? There shouldn't be a thing in this world that could harm him."

"Love can hurt a lot", said Usagi sorrowful.

Mamoru wanted to answer that, but just looked at her, doubt in his eyes.

"Jadeite doesn't remember much of the past", said Usagi. "He mostly remembers the Dark Kingdom. He has been there longer than everyone else. He has seen everyone else come - and go... several times... that aren't memories that help him find a way into his new life."

"They tear him to pieces," said Rei. "When he looks at someone, he sees how they suffered and died, and how he was involved in it, when he was there, and all that mattered to him was his Queen and her curse. And he just can't get rid of it. Beaten up and dumped like garbage and forced upon me and having too much time to think about all the bad things that happened in the Dark Kingdom and how he blames himself for them, and how he deserves to be separated from the Shitennou and his Master no matter how much it hurts? And if that won't hurt him enough any more, what will he try next to make himself worse? - - What?" she asked as everyone stared at her.

"You're really worried about him", said Usagi. "Rei-chan!"

"Well? So I take it serious if I am being responsible for someone... maybe we have made friends. Is that a problem?"

"No", said Zoisite, his smile so knowingly that Rei was embarassed even more.

"Of course you would make friends with Jadeite if you knew him better, Rei-chan. He is wonderful!" Usagi was happy.

Rei sneered. "He is an ordeal. Just last week, he spent half of his evening trying to persuade me to let him keep youmas! In the shrine! He is not quite right in the head if you ask me!"

"Youmas?"

"Usagi, believe me, you wouldn't really want to know, let me just say it took us three days to make the room inhabitable again... Zoisite, you can stop grinning, thank you. I hate youmas, I really do. End of story.

Usagi, I have a bad feeling about Jadeite. Because, what can be done for him that hasn't been tried already? He refused it all. The only one who could help him is he himself. And he doesn't want to."

"Maybe he just needs some more time. Rei, he is doing so well with you..."

"No!" said Rei. "I can't do this any more."

"What happened, Rei-chan?" asked Usagi.

Rei sighed. She couldn't tell her. Not with nosy Zoisite sitting by... or Mamoru who would be on Jadeite's side... but she had to be a bit more honest at least.

"Look, Usagi, this is not only about the boy," she said. "It's also about me. I... I hate to admit this... but Zoisite is right. I want to keep him. And not out of kindness of heart. With Jadeite, I have a Shitennou at my personal disposal. I have the powers of a fifth level enchanter under my control. It has already begun to corrupt me. I dream of getting out at night with the boy, going hunting, fighting, doing all the things that I miss so much that it hurts. I thought I was over the Senshi thing, but I am not.

And Jadeite would make this so easy for me. You know how easy it is to overrule him. He maybe wants me to be his friend, his girl-friend, his sister, his mother, and I don't know what not, but I know I would end up his Queen, taking posession of him, and he would be happy to let me. I don't want to become that kind of person. I don't want to mess up the Shitennou, and the defense of Earth, and Jadeite's life, just for my personal ambitions, and for a quick hunt out in the dark.

That's why you better not rely on me with the boy. I don't trust myself around him any more."

That shocked them, at least Mamoru and Zoisite.

Well, boys, not every Senshi has a heart of gold, thought Rei.

But Usagi had a heart of gold, and she was so moved that she came over and took Rei's hand.

"Oh, Rei-chan, I'm so sorry!" said Usagi. "What was I thinking! I didn't ever think about how it would be for you. You don't remember him from the previous life! I just assumed you two would get along so well because once you had..."

"Whatever it was, I don't want to hear about it right now!"

... Kunzite always makes these cryptic jokes about you and me, and then he and Zoisite snicker...

No, she wouldn't want to hear this in public.

"So what Jadeite needs is a Queen," said Usagi, deep in thoughts. "That would be my job then... I knew I should have taken him with me when he was brought to Rei-chan. It would have been my duty. I think it's time to take over now. I'm not a Queen, and I don't know if I will ever be one, but I am a Princess, at the side of his Prince, that's the very next thing to a Queen he can get right now, Jadeite can start getting used to that now."

"Don't underestimate him, Usagi," said Rei who didn't saw this idea working yet. Jadeite needed a firmer hand than the soft heartet Usagi had. "He can come up with teenage boy nonsense at the most unexpected of moments."

Usagi just smiled broadly. "Oh Rei-chan, don't you worry. I have a teenage brother, after all. I am extremely welltrained in letting no boy get the upper hand. It's practically an instinct."

"That is very reassuring, Princess" smiled Zoisite and shot Mamoru an amused glance, that Mamoru reproachfully returned.

Rei still had doubts. "Don't get your hopes too high. He's gone pretty far. He might be out of our reach."

"But not out of mine", said Usagi. She took Mamorus hand. "Please trust me. I know what it feels like to be responsible for death and destruction. I know how it sometimes weighs me down, how hard it is to forgive oneself. I wouldn't have been able to do that without you. I will never be able to pay you back for what you have done for me. But maybe I can pass something on by helping Jadeite. Please leave him to me."

Mamorus grumble melted down.

That's what I love you for, he thought.

"As you wish, Princess", he said with a smile.

"And there is something I want you to do, Mamoru. Talk to Kunzite."

Mamoru's smile froze.

"Please, Mamoru. It must be so hard for him. You burdened this whole problem on him."

"Excuse me, but Kunzite burdened the whole problem on me, if I am not mistaken here," corrected Rei.

"I didn't burden the whole Jadeite problem on Kunzite," said Mamoru. "I just want them to sort out the battle that Jadeite blew, and quite spectacularly blew. And all Kunzite wants is a decent apology. That shouldn't be so hard."

Rei wanted to interfer again, but Usagi suddenly had that determined look, and Rei decided to leave Mamoru to her. It might be quite entertaining.

"Mamoru, I can't believe how you behave to poor Kunzite!" Uagi had lept from her seat and put her hands on her hips. "First he has to fight this nasty battle over the almost killed bodies of two of his Shitennou, then while he is wounded himself he takes care of poor Zoisite, and humiliates himself before Rei-chan so Jadeite has a safe place and is surrounded by people who deeply care for him, and then he shields you in all the fights against these bladed things, and now that Jadeite is well again, you blame Kunzite for Jadeite's stubbornness and suspend him from duty! I think that is utterly unfair!

If you had listened what we have been talking about all time, you knew this is not about just one battle. You can talk to Kunzite or not, but if you don't, then I will. It may be about time I had a looong talk to him anyway, but I think as his Prince it is your responsibility. But you just have to say the word and I can take it all over!"

Mamoru opened his mouth for an answer, but then he thought different and shut it again. Rei congratulated him to his instincts.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Usagi still stood before him, hands on her hips, and very annoyed.

"Okay, okay, I will do it", said Mamoru. "I will talk to Kunzite."

"And tell him you overdid it?"

He rolled his eyes again, but it didn't help him.

"Yes, I will mention it..."

"Fine. Tell him Zoisite and Nephrite will move back in this evening, and I will come by to talk to them later, and I do not want to see any of Kunzite's creepy transformations around the place or hear one single complaint about his attitude. Jadeite is not the only one who needs to get a grip."

She turned to Rei and smiled her widest grin. "Now you see I can be Queen-like, right, Rei-chan?"

"Absolutely stunning," Rei confirmed. "If you can talk sense into Mamoru and Kunzite, there may actually be hope for Jadeite."

Usagi blinked her battle blink with her right eye, and Rei returned it.

They gave each other a half-moon flick with their fingertips.

"Never underestimate a Sailor Senshi."

xxxxx

She found Jadeite in a quiet corner of the yard, doing some aiming practise with pebbles on a number of drinking cans at a vast distance. He didn't miss a single one.

"Jadeite, we need to talk."

"Huh?"

Ting. Another hit.

"Do you know where I have been today?"

"The Princess?"

Ting. Ting.

"Yes. To ask her where I can find Kunzite."

That got his attention away from the cans.

"Kunzite?"

"Yes, I have been talking to him. I've told him I have it up to here with taking care of Shitennou business."

She waited. Jadeite shifted him position uncomfortably.

"What did he say?" he finally asked.

"Not much. Loomed around in a human form. Made me a cup of tea. Tried to be as nasty as possible. Didn't help him one bit. I told him if he isn't taking you back with the gang soon, I will not give you back at all."

"What?"

"You could stay. Serve your Master from here. Do something better with your time than butting heads with Kunzite."

"You would really do that?" asked Jadeite staring at, round-eyed, his mouth open

"Keep me? You really would?" A huge smile was forming on his face.

"Listen, Jadeite, having you stay is not the same as "keeping you". I don't own this place. I have been talking to the kannushi. He is the one who would "keep you", as a help at the shrine. If you don't do too bad here, if he sees you are making a real effort, he is interested to train you as a shinto priest. You would be able to do something useful with your powers in the human world as well.

But, Jadeite, this is no excuse for not dealing with Kunzite. This is not the easy way out. You will have to settle things with the Shitennou first."

Jadeite jerked his head to the side, the smile replaced by a frown. "What can I do? You heard the Master. Kunzite is the one who will decide it. If he says I am out of the Shitennou for good, he will probably kill me, because that's the only way he can take my powers from me."

"I can't believe you swallowed that! You really are an idiot!"

She hated the look of painful confusion on his face.

"Man, you really should get used to do some thinking of your own, instead of leaving it all to a bloke like Kunzite who acts too much on instinct. Do you really believe Kunzite is the one who makes the decisions? Do you think Zoisite would let him get away with messing up the Shitennou? Do you think Nephrite is on his side at this? Come on, I have only known you guys for a short time, and I already know that Kunzite is not deciding anything here. You should know it a hundred times better than me.

What do you think why Kunzite hasn't done anything yet? Man, Jadeite, for once in your life, use your brain! He is waiting for you to decide where you belong!"

"The last time I did that, he wasn't really happy about it!" mumbled Jadeite.

"Ah, so your job is to make Kunzite happy, or what?"

Jadeite sneered. "No, but it really helps."

Rei laughed. "Come on. I know it's not easy. But look at me, I have thrown a cup of tea into his face, and I still live to tell it!"

"You did what?"

"You should have seen his face! And I had to yell at him a lot before he would actually listen to me."

"You yelled at him?!"

"Oh come on, don't act so surprised. I have noticed there is usually a lot of yelling going on around Kunzite."

"Yes... but I am not going to yell at him."

"It's maybe not necessary. I assume Nephrite and Zoisite are pretty good at it should the need arise. But you have to come to a decision. Will you forgive yourself for what you have done in the Dark Kingdom? And will you forgive Kunzite for letting you do it?"

Jadeite sank his head.

"I... I don't know... how..."

"Ah, about that... Usagi is going to take you out tonight. Dinner with the Princess. you should dress yourself up a bit. She has borrowed you some clothes from her brother. I hope you know how to knot a tie, or find someone who can, because I haven't got the slightest clue about that kind of thing."

She shot him a sharp look, but he didn't respond. He just stayed frozen to his place, misery and fear written all over him.

Oh yeah, no use to go soft on him, or he would be like this forever.

"Jadeite! You've had a time out. Now you will have to deal with it. No more excuses. No more trying to kill yourself or bringing Kunzite to do it for you. Think it'll get better if you fuck up another life? You may be stupid, but you aren't that stupid. You're a Shitennou, for heaven's sake. Get a grip."

He shot her a pleading look, but she ignored it.

She was about to turn around and leave him like this, when he asked:

"Why now?"

She turned back to him.

"Why now, Mars? Are you mad at me? What did I do?"

Oh no... the eyes-swimming-in-guilt-and-remorse-look... the tell-me-why-you-scare-me-look... and this time it wasn't directed at his Master, but at Rei. She had hoped to avoid it.

"Jadeite... you did nothing... really, it's not your fault."

"Then why? I thought we..."

He didn't finish the sentence.

"Jadeite..." said Rei. Yes, she wanted to get rid of him. Yes, she wanted to cut the ties between them. But she hadn't thought hurting him would make her feel so bad. She closed her eyes for a moment to gather strength.

"Jadeite... we are about to do things that we might never be able to reverse", she said. "We are about to close doors in our lives that might not open again. Before we do that, we should make very, very certain that we don't lose something that we can't afford to give up. I think... I think the longer you stay here, the more you will drift out of your real life. That's not good, Jadeite. You have told me that all your life, the Shitennou were your number one priority. I can't ignore that."

"But it's changed! It was always about the Master. All my life, I was always afraid I would one day hurt him, and I did. And then it was all about Beryl-sama. Failing her was the worst thing anyone could do, and I did.

Shitennou... I have dedicated all my life to it, and it wasn't enough. I am a horrible Guardian, I do nothing but fail, and fail again. Maybe I don't want to dedicate my life to failure any more, Mars!"

"Jadeite, you are not a horrible Guardian. You're so good you used to scare the hell out of me, and you still sometimes do. You have no idea how strong you are. Mamoru trusts you, entirely, without even a shadow of doubt. I mentioned the life-draining crystal to him, and he gave me the most intense lecture on how much his high estimation of you can't be shaken. Ever. The same happened with Kunzite. I mentioned you stabbed him, and he laughed, and kept telling me how good natured you really are until I wanted to throw up. And you are no better yourself! A promise from Kunzite to give you hell, and you start giggling! And don't get me started on Zoisite, or Nephrite, who are the worst. Of course you guys are all nuts. But it took me a while to see how nuts exactly.

Jadeite, they care a damn whether you are good or not, and you know that, because you are the same. Go see them. They miss you. If you still want to come back then, you know you'll have a place here."

"And you, Mars? Would you want me to come back?"

Rei turned her head away.

"This whole situation has never been about what I want."

He took a step closer to her.

"I can make it about what you want."

"No, Jadeite. Don't."

"Just 'don't'? Just like that? Mars..."

He was not going to beg? She was not going to allow him to make a scene. She wouldn't be able to deal with it.

"Yes, Jadeite, just like that!" snapped Rei. "Go! Don't ask questions, don't give me looks, just go and face your damn problems!"

She didn't wait for him to protest again, she just had to run from the hurt look in his eyes, she just had enough of it all now.

No need to go soft on Jadeite, she thought. He's not the subtle type. I am doing the right thing. He can't stay here any longer. He needs to go back. No matter what it takes. It's only hard because I have waited too long with it.

I can make it about what you want...

But I hate what I want. I hate what it makes out of me.

Go, Jadeite. Just like that.

xxxxx

Rei would never know how the evening with Usagi went. When Jadeite returned late at night, he just packed his belongings and sat on a bench in the yard.

Rei watched him from inside the house for a long time. Finally, she went out and sat next to him, not daring to look at him, glad he didn't speak to her.

In the first light of the day, Kunzite appeared. Jadeite got up from his bench, and for a while, noone of them moved.

Then a smile, a genuine smile formed on Kunzite's face, and slowly, Jadeite returned it.

"Come, Jadeite."

And Jadeite nodded, materialized his Shitennou uniform, took his bag, and turned to Rei. She got up as well.

"So you will return to your Shitennou life," she said and she wished his happy, radiant smile wasn't there for _his_ sake.

"Yes."

"You can always come back if he is too obnoxious again."

"It doesn't work this way. But thank you, Rei. Thank you for everything."

It seemed just natural that he'd kiss her. Rei felt his lips on hers, and it felt just natural that she'd return his kiss. There was no need for words, just this silent agreement that was more than friendship, but not enough for anything else. The incredulous look on Kunzite's face was a good-bye present that Rei would really cherish.

And then Jadeite walked over to Kunzite, and with a flick of their capes, they were gone.

"What a relief to be on my own again", murmured Rei.

Only later that day, when she found a shirt that Jadeite had forgotten, she suddenly found herself inable to let go of it. For a long while, she just had to hold on to the last faint trace of his presence.


	13. Chapter 13 Epilogue

It was about a week later when she decided that she would ask the kannushi if she could have a desk in the old store room, so she could have a somewhat remoter and quieter place to learn.

"Of course", he replied, happy as always to make her comfortable. "It was your favourite place when you were younger, wasn't it? Of course such a place would make you calm and more concentrated. So this is why you started spending more time there? Won't it be too dusty?"

"Speaking of that, maybe I could do a little renovation there? Just a cleaning, putting up some book racks, and some more solid shelves for the storage goods, and maybe a splash of color?"

He was so delighted about all the extra time Rei would volunteer for by this renovation that it actually embarassed Rei. After all, she didn't do it for the good of the shrine, even if they might profit from it as well.

She was just starting to clean out the whole room when a rose colored shimmering filled her vision.

"Need some help?" asked Jadeite with a grin.

"What, got nothing to do? Don't tell me you ditched sword drill!" she teased him.

"No. Kunzite won't give me any more lessons. Says I already can do enough damage with a sword. Wouldn't have time for him anyway with the new apprentice I need to train."

Rei looked at him with big eyes. A new Shitennou?

Jadeite smiled at her. "Did you think just because I am back on duty you could go easy with your combat lessons? I really hope for you you have been working on your aim. Today you'll need it."

She had longed for another shot of magic more than she would ever admit. But that was exactly why she wouldn't give in easily.

"What? Just because you train me doesn't make me your apprentice! Think you just need to hold a bit of magic in front of me and I'll jump on it? How desperate do you think I am? And just right now, I don't have time for combat. I have work to do. How come you have time to fool around here?"

"I ditched driving lessons. I am not going to be crammed into a car with everyone, and the Master preaching to Nephrite what a safety distance is, and yelling at Kunzite about speed limits, and Zoisite nagging all the time about how we need a decent sound system in the car. I guess the shrine can always use some help. Not that I wouldn't agree on the sound system, that is."

"Oh man, if anyone sees you in here, I will look like I just do this to have a quiet place to screw around."

"What, you don't?" said Jadeite with a smirk. "What do you think I really came back for, Mars?"

"Hey!" Rei threw a broom after him, which he easily caught with one hand, without even looking. "Be of some use or get lost! I have no time for nonsense right now."

"I thought we could test if you still remember flight", said Jadeite. "You used to be a really good flyer, and you can hold enough magic now for it, I know the perfect place to give it a try."

Rei stared at him. She knew she had lost. "You bitch," she finally said.

"I take that as a yes," he grinned.

She sighed. "But first I ned to finish this. And as you obviously have nothing to do, how about helping me?"

He patted the bag he was wearing.

"I have my old working clothes in there. Where do I start?"

'"Over there, we need to empty all shelves. And hurry a bit, I want to get this done until the end of the week."

"You know we could be finished tomorrow if you let me..."

"I told you, Jadeite, no youmas! And no teleporting stuff either! Some hard work is not going to kill you! Get busy!"

"Hai."

xxxxx

"Good evening, Mars."

"Good evening, Kunzite."

To say that she was surprised was the understatement of the year.

"I heard you have the evening off."

"Yes, that's right."

"Do you already have plans for the evening?"

Actually, she had wanted to spend the first Jadeite-free evening of the week all by herself. Actually, she didn't have time for men, and if there was a list of men she should stay clear off, Kunzite would be on top of it. He would be the top ten of it. Hadn't sitting at a table with him been extremely pointless? And extremely pleasant...

"No. You?"

"I was hoping I could take you out for dinner."

"Wait a minute... you don't think you can pay me back for forcing Jadeite on me with a dinner?"

"Oh no, this has nothing to do with it. This is merely out of personal interest."

"How come so sudden?"

Just because I kissed Jadeite?

"Let's say I'm through with getting tea thrown into my face. I think I prefer having red wine thrown into my face for a change. Do you like Italian food?"

"Sounds good. I will just get my jacket."

"You don't need it. It's not cold in Italy tonight."

Rei stared at him in surprise, while his smile widened.

Then she took a deep breath, straightened herself, and shot him a cool glance.

"Fine. But I only go out with humans. Can you teleport in human form?"

A golden shimmer, and he wore a black suit with a white shirt, and no tie, and looked so good - and so absolutely no good at the same time.

Rei's Senshi instincts kicked in. She kicked back.

So this was absolutely no one she should ever go out with? Of course not. This was Kunzite. And he was planning something. She just had to look at his smile to know it. He was up to something, and she was dying to know what it was. If she had learned anything in the past weeks, then that someone had to keep an eye on his devious little plans, right? The Shitennou might think they guarded Earth, but they better kept in mind that there were Senshi around who didn't let them get away with everything. Senshi duty. Right. Someone had to. Absolutely. Had to.

And what about punishing him, making him beg for mercy? whispered a voice in her head. Well, there is no better way to achieve that than this... if he messes up just one second tonight, I can still kiss Jadeite again and see how he likes it.

She took the arm that he offered her and smiled at him.

They dissolved in a golden shimmer.


End file.
